by Ashley March
First of all, I’d like to say thank you very much to Bev for hosting me today at The Season blog! The Season is one of my very favorite romance sites, and I’m thrilled to be coming back again on the book tour for my new Victorian romance, ROMANCING THE COUNTESS.
If you had the chance to read my debut, SEDUCING THE DUCHESS, you know that there weren’t really any villains in the book. Instead, the hero and heroine had to move beyond their own demons and their past that was keeping them apart. The main conflict was rooted between the couple; there were no villains to run away from, to outwit, or to kill.
Well, in ROMANCING THE COUNTESS, some people might think that there should be villains. You see, this book is about an earl and his best friend’s wife who are drawn together after their spouses—who were having an affair—die in a carriage accident. They might be dead, but as romance readers and people who believe in the importance of love and fidelity, I think our first instinct would be to think of the cheating spouses—Ian and Angela—as the villains in this story. Both of their spouses loved them, and Ian not only betrayed the heroine, Leah, but also his best friend, Sebastian, by having the affair. How could we not despise them for the pain they put our hero and heroine through?
Yet as I wrote ROMANCING THE COUNTESS, I never thought of Ian and Angela as villains. Yes, what they did was terrible and I cannot condone it either as a romance author or as a person who puts a lot of stock into fidelity, but I do know that we all make mistakes. If you get a chance to read ROMANCING THE COUNTESS, you’ll find at the beginning of each chapter a snippet from different love letters that Angela wrote to Ian. These were found by Leah after the carriage accident. I have to give credit where credit is due and tell you that it was my fabulous editor’s idea to include these small snippets at the head of the chapters, and I’m so glad she suggested it. With these little excerpts, the reader is able to see that Angela and Ian were real people, too, not just some faceless people from our hero and heroine’s pasts. They weren’t perfect, of course, but they had hopes and fears and desires and doubts. They didn’t want to be seen as the villains—they just wanted a chance to be with the person they loved. In ROMANCING THE COUNTESS, Leah and Sebastian were able to realize this and forgive them. And I hope that if you read ROMANCING THE COUNTESS, you do, too.
ROMANCING THE COUNTESS
Sebastian Madinger, the Earl of Wriothesly, thought he’d married the perfect woman-until a fatal accident revealed her betrayal with his best friend. After their deaths, Sebastian is determined to avoid a scandal for the sake of his son. But his best friend’s widow is just as determined to cast her mourning veil aside by hosting a party that will surely destroy both their reputations and expose all of his carefully kept secrets…
Leah George has carried the painful knowledge of her husband’s affair for almost a year. All she wants now is to enjoy her independence and make a new life for herself-even if that means being ostracized by the Society whose rules she was raised to obey. Now that the rumors are flying, there’s only one thing left for Sebastian to do: silence the scandal by enticing the improper widow into becoming a proper wife. But when it comes to matters of the heart, neither Sebastian nor Leah is prepared for the passion they discover in each other’s arms….
I’d love to hear what you think about the issue of infidelity in romance novels. Is it possible for a character (whether the hero/heroine or secondary character) to cheat on their significant other and not be considered a villain by the reader? Is love a good enough reason for leaving your spouse?
One random commenter will be chosen to win a copy of my newest book, ROMANCING THE COUNTESS (open internationally)! Also, find out how to win the ROMANCING THE COUNTESS Book Tour Grand Prize of 50+ romance novels by visiting www.ashleymarch.com!
I love the new site it’s great.
Hi Ashley
Your book sounds very good I’m looking forward to reading it. I think having infidelity in romance books would be good it would spice up the romance books I think! I would read it.
Thanks
Penney
I just was thinking about infidelity with the last post 🙂 I have to admit I hate infidelity and can’t help but view the offender as a villain. However, there are always reasons for why a character does something, and I guess there’s always a chance that they could be redeemed or even written in a light where you can’t help but sympathize with them. Romancing the Countess sounds amazing and I think that including those love letter snippets is a genius idea. I also have to keep in mind that back in those days most marriages weren’t for love but more business and title, so you can’t really blame someone for infidelity if they found someone they did truly love.
Everything is possible in a romance novel, including infidelity & forgiving it. I think sometimes authors make flawless characters & it’s quite boring and/or it’s hard to believe in them. I prefer to read about heroes little more grounded to reality. They can have addictions, they can cheat, they can make wrongs steps, but with a guaranteed happy ending.
Natalija (Italy)
No, if a character cheats, I find it very difficult to see how they could possibly redeem themselves. How could they justify this betrayal?
marypres(AT)gmail(DOT)com
Hi, Ashley!
It depends on how it’s handled. Sure, it’s easier to make the adulterer the villain but for a person to commit adultery in the first place, there must be something wrong/missing in the relationship (not just “my wife doesn’t understand me” but something fundamental). At keast that’s how it is in real life.
I have no problem reading about infidelity in a romance depending on how it’s presented. If one of the leads cheats on the other, there had better be a darned good reason for it, and if they stay together, there needs to be believable character growth or change, and some serious groveling.
I agree with infinitieh . Of course It depends on how it’s handled .
Anyway , I just want to say I really love SEDUCING THE DUCHESS and I’m looking for new book ^0^
Good morning, Ashley. So wonderful to have you back on the blog. Gorgeous cover, btw. I’ve been meaning to read this book but I’ve recently been caught up in a contemporary marathon reading session. I’m intrigued with the idea of these two betrayed people getting together.
In terms of the fidelity question, as a rule, I don’t like. Yes, I will read if the plot is compelling enough but I don’t think they should necessarily be cast as villains from the get-go. I’m working on a contemporary where the hero doesn’t ‘physically’ cheat on the heroine, but he might as well have — I draw the line at that.
As the saying goes: Tempus Fugit, Tempus Edax, Amor Omnia Vincit —
Time Flies, Time Devours, Love Conquers All.
I think that infidelity is a very real problem in all relationships — in romance novels, I think the challenge for the writer is to present characters that readers are sympathetic to — the journey from infidelity to forgiveness is part of the character’s development and dimension.
(I really, really enjoyed your debut novel and I’ve already pre-ordered your second book.)
It would have to be an extreme situation. There’s one book in particular in which I can say I did condone it, because the husband keep beating his wife because she couldn’t get pregnant, and finally she had an affair just to conceive and to stop the beatings. I don’t believe that the person who cheats should be considered a villian if there is an opportunity for them to explain their situation. I don’t think love is a good enough reason for leaving your spouse. It has to be earned. Once you are married, then you need to make it work. I know circumstances were different back then, however falling in love with someone else after you are married seems extremely selfish especially when you want to act on it.
I have gotten to chapter 7 of Romancing the Countess and find that I have no sympathy for either Ian or Angela with having their affair, especially after Leah had found out. I do not know if I see as a villian or an extremely selfish. If it is not answered in book, how could Ian go from his mistress’ bed to his wife’s without feeling like a cad and when when did the affair begin?
I think it’s hard… Infidelity is hard to forgive… Especially if you ever have a cheating boyfriend or husband yourself….
Thanks, Penney!
@May
Yep. I think most of the time, it’s best to walk away and don’t look back.
never mind if having infidelity in romance book as long as is not the hero and heroine =D
sometime it’s hard to leave the one we love but if it can make us happy being a part, inevitably we have to leave our couple. but i still
will all a happy ending story because in the real world, it’s not always happen 😉
sorry, correction : i stil wish all a happy ending story because in the real world, it’s not always happen =)
I agree with someone else that in this context (historical romance) it would be easy to be more forgiving if the cheating spouse(s) is finding true love after marrying for duty. But it doesn’t sound like this is what you are doing here so I am intrigued. Will be on the lookout for this one!
I think that most of the time they are the villian. Sounds like a great story. Thanks for the giveaway
No adultery period.
I have difficulties with the idea of the main characters cheating on their partners. This isn’t to say that I might not be able to get past that with the help of the author’s writing of their viewpoint, however, I don’t think I have ever read such a book. Now, having the issue portrayed through a secondary set of characters doesn’t give me so many qualms for some reason. I suppose it is because I somehow prefer my hero and heroine to be above such things.
If I had been cheated on, it would be very difficult for me to get past the hurt and forgive the person. Of course, in a romance novel the characters are aided in this by finding love again. Finding love and happiness does a lot to create a spirit of forgiveness and understanding, but I think there would still be some pain that you could never completely suppress.
Hi Ashley and Bev,
Wow, this is a tough subject to address. Back in the Regency, Victorian eras, most marriages were contracted either for money, title or power. It must have been hard on couples who barely knew each other yet, were expected to perform their marital duties. I suppose that back then, lots of soirees, balls etc. were held and the couples would go their own ways at these events, therefore giving them the opportunity to perhaps meet and connect with somebody they were attracted to. Therefore, although I don’t condone infidelity, I can perhaps understand why these occurrences happened.
Congratulations on your new release Ashley which I can’t wait to read. Thank you for this opportunity.
Hello Ashley! I have to say this first: the cover of your romance is just beautiful.
Now to your questions. In real life it would be almost impossible for me to understand any kind of infidelity. In romances this varies a bit: hero and heroine should be faithful to each other, but I don´t mind the villain´s infidelity. Actually this seem to very usual way of life of most villains.
Hi Ashley,
Congratulations on the release of RtC.
Touchy subject…I think it totally depends on how the author handles it whether the parties involved are villians or not. If the story is their story, the reasons why would be made readily apparent and the light in which they are cast would be more favorable. If the story is about the other half of the marriage(s), then they are very probably the bad guys in the story. But whatever the case, why did they feel the need to cheat on their spouse(s)? What was so wrong, or lacking, in the marriage they felt the need to step outside their vows in the first place? So many questions, so little space!
What a interesting plot line! Really makes me curious. I think infidelity can make for a really powerful story, and I don’t think I’ve ever encountered it in a romance in which the main characters were both the victims of it, and the others weren’t depicted as total scum. An historical romance — in which divorce wasn’t the option it is now — would make this far more plausible to me.
Most of the time I would think of them as a villian, but then I think back to the times and how many people were married and didn’t love one another. That some went into the marriage already loving another. So I think there are some instances where I look at them and think they were just following their heart. Now do I condone it? Absolutely not. I really can’t wait to read this book because I want more insight on Ian and Angela. When I first learned of them and this story I was quick to vilify them. Now I’m not so sure. When did they start to fall in love? How did the affair start? Did they ever love their spouses? I need to read this book so I can get answers to these questions.
I am going to have to read the book to see how you approached the subject. I stay away from the kinds of books that include adultry in them.
I think that settings like this are why I love the evolution of the romance genre, especially historicals. Good writers (often new writers) are exploring more complex relationships, like Ashley appears to do in this book. In my opinion, this is great for readers–kudos, Ashley.
I have a very hard time redeeming cheating partners, in my head and in real life. I’d have to hear the circumstances in order to begin viewing them in a good light.
In real life I believe there should never be infidelity, But in romance books I don’t mind as long as it is made believeable and has a happy ending. I can’t wait to read your new book Ashley!
Hi, Ashley. You were nice enough to send me your book. I received it yesterday, so I haven’t been able to read it yet. I hope to get to it very soon.
I usually dislike infidelity in any story. The way you tackled it is fine, since it wasn’t your main characters who cheated. You deal with the repercussions of infidelity. A spouse that engages in cheating also engages in lying and destroys a family. It’s difficult to make this person redeemable. I also don’t think falling in love gives you a pass. An affair doesn’t hasppen overnight and if the person is so unhappy in their relationship, then end it.
I’d love to read this. It sounds so different and I don’t know who’d not want to read it. I don’t mind infidelity in romances at all.
Loving someone else is not a good enough reason to leave a spouse. In marriage, each has a responsibility to make the relationship work. Forgiveness is part of what makes it work. So I see the question of infidelity as painful and difficult, but workable. Circumstances differ. No one should have to suffer a spouse who is a serial cheater—that suggests no real marriage ever occurred.
I don’t view infidelity per se as enough reason to put a character in the villain camp.
I like the idea of the chapter letter snippets to give readers insight into Angela and Ian. I’m looking forward to reading your book. Thanks for visiting.
I ♥ Victorian romance novels. And this one sounds sooo good. I can’t wait to read it!
I’m not a fan of infidelity, though I do like love triangles.
Love the site and love Ashley!
I would tend to say that books with villians who aren’t really villians are the best, meaning you don’t have a big bad villian, just a bunch of tiny ones that really didn’t mean to hurt others. It just ended up that way.
I can wait to read Romancing the Countess and I absolutely love the cover. It’s sooo pretty.
Hi Everyone! I’m with the kiddos Who Refuse to Nap right now, and I’m sorry I haven’t been able to get on and respond to all of your comments yet. But I promise I will as soon as I get a chance. Thanks so much for visiting with me today! =)
Infidelity in romance novels… When a Hero is trying to get over a Heroine in a romance novel after either being rejected or ignored, and chooses to spend time with a past lover, I do not mind so much… But then again if the Hero and Heroine have actually started their own love affair it would be a betrayal, a big one, that I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about.
Would I be able to love a Hero whom cheats on his spouse? No I couldn’t do it.
A Heroine? No, I know things were different in other centuries with women didn’t have much choice, but I’m a product of my time. I feel, if you feel the need to be with someone else, divorce or legally separate first.
Samething with people who fall in love with someone outside their marrige, before cheating happens, divorce or legally separate first.
emilytardy@yahoo.com
I always have negative thoughts when infidelity pops up and I usually associate it with villains or dislikeful characters in books, however I think an author can make infidelity okay in a story depending on the hero/heroines situation in society.
I am probably less forgiving if it’s a contemporary for some reason – too lifelike I guess and there is a way out today usually with divorce. But historicals seems to have a different set of rules and usually there is a very good reason for it (such as being forced into a marriage or having to wed to survive, etc.). Maybe that is why historicals are my favorite!
I remember a pretty recent Brenda Joyce historical where the hero cheated on the heroine almost through the entire story. My mouth is still hanging open that she loved him, wanted him and got together with him at the end of the day.
I don’t really want to read a romance where the hero or heroine is unfaithful during the story. It even bothers me when the hero is a rake who sleeps with a large string of married women. I can’t imagine that all of these womens’ husbands are awful people so it seems like the hero starts off with no respect for marriage at all.
I find it very difficult to like a character who cheats.
Ashely,
I just found out it is National Buy A Book Day. I already bought your book before today and now just shy of 20 pages of finishing it, however I think anyone who hasn’t picked it up should do so today. It a wonderful book.
It all depends on the story line but I am more forgiving on infidelity in book then I am in real life. To me in real life it is a no,no. Like catslady I am less forgiving in contemporary then in historical. In contemporary they do have a way out.
Congratulations on the release of ROMANCING THE COUNTESS, Ashley! The description caught by eye before I came across this blog and your book is already on my TBR list.
Infidelity in eras where marriages were arranged was understandable, if still wrong. And I can’t buy plots where a rejected hero or heroine lives chastely for ages because he or she is still sooo in luuurve with the other person. I have problems with a hero or heroine who cheats on the other one during the course of the book. The character can flirt or be tempted to cheat, but if he/she follows through, I’ll have a hard time believing the HEA.
Forgive my careless fingers….I should have said “the description caught MY eye…”. :p
I don’t really enjoy reading about cheaters. I’m not sure if it is possible for a character to cheat and not be a villain, unless maybe they were hurt terribly by their spouse or had some really great reason for it. It would take quite a bit of convincing for me to not think that way. I’m not sure if love is a good enough reason for leaving a spouse, unless there is no love left for the spouse and the marriage is basically over.
I’m looking forward to reading Romancing the Countess, the storyline is very interesting and I’m eager to see how it all comes out.
Hi Ashley,
Your new book ROMANCING THE COUNTESS looks so good! 🙂 I enjoyed reading your blog post!
I’m more bothered if the cheating is done by the main two characters. If it’s the secondary characters I don’t mind as much.
I don’t like reading about infidelity but if it is not the hero and the herione doing the cheating it should be okay! Secondary charaters and like your book, the deceased spouses. It could be interesting to see how they deal with this sensitive issue. Thanks for sharing today!
Infidelity is a great source of tension in a romance novel. I think it is a way to help the characters grow and learn. In fiction, I think it is something that makes a great story. IRL, I would never forgive infidelity. If you want to be with someone that isn’t your spouse, man up, grow some brass ones and tell your loved one first. Otherwise, the cheating makes you a pussy!
jepebATverizonDOTnet
@Jen B
Are you talking contemporaries or romances in general?
I personally do not care for infidelity as the main plot for the h/h. I have read romances where the h/hbroke up because of infidelity in the past- there were years that went by before they encountered each other again. I can handle that-it is just hard for me to believe a story with infidelity as the main plot and the h/h work things out for a happily ever after. I don’t think I would enjoy the story that much because I would be comparing it to what happens in real life ( the stages of grief- counseling- blah blah…).
kamwh1207(at)att(dot)net
I am not fond of in fidelity except in certain very unusual conditions. A relationship is built on trust and infidelity breaks that trust. I am not sure the story would be realistic to me.
I can see lots of situations where it might be justified in a historical. What if the heroine’s parent/guardian forced her into a marriage with a horrible, sleazy old man? Would you blame her for having an affair with the hero, and then marrying the hero after the old man dies? What if the heroine is in an arranged marriage with a husband who is physically abusive? Would you feel more sympathetic then? What if she is in an arranged marriage with a man that turns out to be homosexual, and so she falls in love with a man that actually would have sex with her? I can see a plot like that working.
The point here is that infidelity in fiction could potentially be very interesting, but I’m not into reading a romance in any time period that involves the hero or heroine having sex with multiple other people behind each other’s backs. Now… if they all know about it, that’s not infidelity, is it? 😀
Also, I love the cover for Romancing the Countess! Beautiful.
Hey Minx!
I’m just starting ‘StD’, but I oh so want to read ‘RtC’ just because of the infidelity content. Do I risk losing your respect by admitting of committing such an act? I guess I might as well. A person doesn’t commit such a ‘sin’ lightly, at least I didn’t, but still I fell in love with someone else while still married. The reasons why are numerous and it’s a long, long story. Believe it or not, I proposed to my first husband, and as we entered into that marriage we both knew that it wasn’t because we were in love (we knew each other for 1 week) but because we needed each other’s support at that time. I needed to be away from controlling parents and he needed my money, but we both did want a family, which we started right away. Mutual respect was always there, but love, real and deep emotion was always lacking and after eighteen years we both knew that we reached the end. Yet neither was strong enough to voice it. We were both scared to speak of it, until my mom got very sick and as I watched her passing, I knew that I had to gather all my courage and speak up.
I was 38 at the time and I was very attracted to a man 12 years my junior, and I was appalled at my feelings, so I tried to set him up with my cousins! But neither of us could escape the inevitable and admitting to the feelings that I thought wrong, was too much and I really felt physically ill. So one day I told my husband the truth. And we both cried like children and decided to try harder to stay together and selvedge what we could. I even tried to have another baby. But in the end, none of it worked. My heart was just breaking and my health suffered as well.
After 18 years of marriage of course I loved my husband, but it wasn’t THAT kind of love. You know, the one that makes you shiver, sigh and melts your heart. I thought, after looking at my mom (she was 57 when she passed from breast cancer; two broken marriages; hard work; never really happy; always sad) that I just had to grab at what happiness was offered to me. And this young man had no qualms of telling me that he loved me (btw: my ex NEVER said those words to me, so simple yet so hard to say unless you mean them) and that he always will, no matter if we’re together or not. We have been married for 11 years (but we’ve been together for 16) and this is the love of my life, the bone of my bone….
So, my Ashley, no villains, just flesh and blood, flawed human here….
BTW not many people know this story, not because I’m ashamed of it, but because it brings so many memories, some pleasant and some not so much. Through all of that my rocks were my kids, but almost everyone, from my close family and friends, had abandoned me, blaming the ‘fallen woman’…
Well, I didn’t know I would be writing this when I came to the blog….
Always wishing you the best of everything this world can offer and you hold on to Mr. March with both hands and NEVER ever take each other for granted, you hear?!
Mel
Hi Penney! I agree–I LOVE the new layout and design for The Season for Romance. =) And thanks for visiting with me today! And I agree with you that it’s possible to spice up romance with infidelity, as long as we stay true to the HEA and understand that the issue of infidelity can be tackled in many different aspects, such as this one, where the hero and heroine have both been victims of infidelity.
Hi Sharon! =) You bring up a great point about arranged marriages in the 19th century, although I do think that toward the latter end of the century it wasn’t as common. Still, there were unspoken expectations, and people might have felt pressured to marry someone they ordinarily wouldn’t have chosen. What I like most about exploring the subject of infidelity is knowing that HEAs can exist in spite of the pain induced by such an act.
Hi Natalija! I am all for flawed heroes and heroines. =) As long as I can be confident that the hero or heroine has changed by the end of the book and I can believe in the HEA, I’m willing to take that journey with the author…maybe because I know relationships in real life aren’t always the easiest things to deal with.
Hi Mary! Thanks for your comment! It’s one of those difficult questions, isn’t it? If I trusted you once and you betrayed me, how can I trust you again?
Hi infiniteh! I think this is a great point about the relationship having something fundamental wrong with it. And by relationship, I don’t mean that space or bond between two characters; I mean the characters themselves and how they act toward one another. From what I know from being married, both partners have to be committed to making things work, not just one. And that can be a very fundamental issue, when the commitment from both isn’t there.
Hi JenM! Yes, I agree. I like to think that if we make mistakes we don’t have to be branded by them for the rest of our lives. But definite character growth needs to be made in order for me to believe in an HEA.
Hi Jenny! *waves* =) I’m so glad you enjoyed SEDUCING THE DUCHESS, especially given the topic here. =) Infidelity is a hard thing. It’s a hard thing in real life, and it’s a hard thing in romance, too. But I think the thing that I look for as a reader of romance is hope, and if I can believe in an HEA despite a past infidelity, then that gives me hope for my own mistakes.
Hi Beverley! So great to be here. And I finally got the kids down. *sigh* I’ll be glad when they can put themselves to sleep someday. =) Thank you for your comment on the cover! I have been very fortunate in that regard with both books, I think. I think the discussion of emotional vs physical infidelity would be such a great one to have with romance readers. I know that for women we usually tie in a physical relationships with an emotional one, but that it can be different for men. I personally would be more heartbroken for my husband to cheat on me emotionally than physically. I think in RtC (which I know you haven’t read yet), Leah is so hurt when she finds Ian and Angela together and he protects Angela from her instead of breaking away guiltily. It shows her his emotional involvement, and ultimately, that’s what matters the most to her. (By the way, I’ve been on a contemporary kick lately, too. Glomming all of Julie James’ books. =) )
Hi tin cc-ong! This is such a wonderful, wonderful quote. I think I might have to write this down and keep it somewhere I can look at it frequently. As you said, every relationship has its troubles. When we reach the end of romance novels and we believe that the characters are going to have an HEA, it’s not that I don’t think they’ll have a perfect relationship going forward where they never have any arguments or problems, it’s that I believe that they’ll be able to work through those arguments or problems because they love each other enough to do so.
I’m so glad you enjoyed SEDUCING THE DUCHESS. =) I hope you enjoy ROMANCING THE COUNTESS just as much, if not more!
Hi Ora! Oh, I do think that Ian and Angela were being extremely selfish. There’s no excuse for that. In fact, I find that I can’t relate to Angela one bit because, although I think what she did to Sebastian was terrible, as a mother I can never relate to her leaving her child behind. That is simply unforgivable to me. I think that selfishness can be villainous, but at least to me as a writer I don’t see that Angela and Ian were villains. They just wanted to be with the one that they loved. To me it’s the same thing that we see in dramatic romantic movies where the person having the affair is supposed to become the hero or heroine of the movie because they want to be in love. It’s one reason why I stay away from those movies. I believe that when you marry, unless (per the example you gave) something evil is done such as abuse, etc., then love is shown through commitment. As for Ian, I hope you’ve seen now that you’ve finished the book that he didn’t continue his relations with Leah because he simply wanted more sex. There was a reason behind it–a bargain that Leah made with him, if you will. Either way, I hope you enjoyed the book! Thanks for the thoughtful discussion. =)
Hi May! You know, this is a very good point. I am so fortunate to have a husband who loves me and who I know will never stray…but this makes me sometimes forget that there are romance readers who haven’t been so fortunate, so that when they read romances that feature infidelity it is like a slap in the face instead of an escape. Thank you for this reminder! I will definitely be keeping it in mind with my future books. =)
Hi Eli! Thanks for visiting with me today! =) Yes, at the end of the day, I agree. I want my romances to give me hope and be an escape. I want to believe in the HEAs. =)
Hi Susan Laura! Yes, it’s possibly easier to understand and forgive, but it still makes us cringe, doesn’t it? Of course, we’re romantics at heart. 😉 If you get a chance to read RtC, I hope you enjoy! =)
Hi Rebekah E! Thanks for your comment! Good luck with the giveaway. =)
Hi jcp! Thanks for the comment. =)
Hi Little Lamb Lost! I can completely understand what you mean. After all, don’t we want to fall in love with the hero, and to some extent in being in love with the hero, don’t we want to be able to stand in the heroine’s shoes? If that’s the case, then yes–infidelity in the main couple is much more difficult to deal with than secondary characters. Great point. =)
Hi Cheryl C. I agree with you. Even after finding love and happiness again, I don’t think it would be possible to completely get over the previous relationship where you had been cheated on. When we love, we give a part of ourselves that we can’t take back. For Sebastian and Leah, though, I like to believe that leftover pain is minimal. =)
Hi Diane! Thank you for the congrats and for your thoughtful comment! I wonder if you’ve ever read Evangeline Holland? Her historicals that I’ve heard of focus on infidelity–meaning that the love story was between a spouse and the person they cheated with. For a long time I was hesitant to read them, because I do believe in marriage and committed relationships, and if I read about infidelity in a romance I’d rather the married couple still end up together. But her books have to deal with someone in a marriage loving someone else. It’s a tough subject matter, but she does it very well. I like that she takes romance outside the box, and she gives a reason for the infidelity that the reader can understand. Still not necessarily a comfort read for me, but definitely interesting.
Thank you for the cover love, Serenisima! I have to admit I like it, too. =) I agree with what you say, although if you’re interested in looking for something outside the box where infidelity in romance is concerned, I would suggest that you try reading one of Evangeline Holland’s books. Definitely interesting reads on the topic.
Lol at Karen in NC. I agree–so many questions and so little space! I can answer one question for you, though. In this specific story, Ian and Angela were unfaithful and decided to run away together because they believed they loved each other too much to withstand being apart. I don’t know if you ever saw The Duchess with Keira Knightly (sp?), but that movie was SO heartbreaking for me because, in it, her husband brings his mistress in to love with them and refuses to let her go so she can be with the man she loves. I hate divorce, but if it has to happen, then at least both partners have a chance to be happy again, not like in the past when divorce wasn’t permitted. And I’m glad that, at least in RtC, I was able to give Leah and Sebastian a second chance at love instead of them both having to suffer through the pain of their spouses’ affair for the rest of their lives.
Hi willaful! =) I have to admit that I haven’t seen anything similar, either…which is probably why I was drawn to it. Makes me wish I could think of more original plots like this. 😉 If you get a chance to read RtC, I hope you enjoy it!
Hi Danielle! You make a great point about people going into marriages already loving someone. I’ve seen this done multiple times in movies, and of course my sympathy is already with the person who loves someone else but can’t have them. (Remember the weeping Spanish bride in Ever After? 😉 As for your questions…You should be warned that not all of them are answered in RtC, simply for the fact that we don’t see all of Ian or Angela’s perspective through the letters, and that Leah and Sebastian only know their own doubts. However, as a writer, I can tell you that Ian and Angela both loved their spouses when they were married…they just chose to love each other afterward.
Hi Joye! I hope you’ll let me know what you think if you do read it. I think it’s much easier to handle the topic when it’s not the main couple involved in the adultery, but I can understand for some people that it would still be hard to approach.
Hi Janine. Thanks so much. I think from a historical writer’s perspective, there is the thought that we need to explore new storylines to be able to stand out from the large historical crowd. I’m glad I can give readers a glimpse of something different, and I hope that I continue to come up with more stories such as this one to challenge both readers and myself as a writer.
Hi Julie! Thank you for your comment! I agree–it takes a LOT to redeem someone who’s been unfaithful. And even then, even if we believe their justifications, the instinct is still not to be sympathetic toward them. Did you see the new movie Crazy, Stupid, Love? It explores the subject of infidelity and redeems the person who was unfaithful in such a way that I did root for the main couple to have an HEA at the end. But I agree that this is very, very rare.
Thank you, Mary D! I certainly never want to EXPERIENCE infidelity in real life, nor hear of anyone I know experiencing it. =) But sometimes as a reader things like this are okay to be explored, as long as I get my HEA in the end. =)
Hi Kim! =) I agree with you on so many points, and I think that if Ian could have divorced Leah to set her free he would have. Of course, then Sebastian would have had to have divorced Angela, too, and that…yeah, I don’t think he would have. He would have tried to make her love him again. =) The issue with ending the relationship definitely wasn’t an easy thing back then, but I am glad Leah and Sebastian were able to have an HEA despite everything that happened with Ian and Angela, and I hope you enjoy the book! =)
Hi Terri C.! Thanks for your comment! =) I hope you do get a chance to read it, and good luck with the giveaway! =)
Hi LSUReader! Yes, you pretty much said everything that I think myself. =) Commitment, forgiveness, working on a relationship. Ditto. =)
Hi Jennifer L.! I’m so glad it sounds like something you’d be interested in reading. =) I hope you enjoy it!
Just finished Seducing the Duchess and LOVED it! Gotta love a man who KNOWS he messed up and moves heaven and earth to atone for it.
Infidelity. Now that IS a tough one. Especially in the nineteenth century when so many marriages were arranged and nearly impossible to end. Under those circumstances, IF it is well written I can be understanding of infidelity in secondary characters and in a hero and heroine if they haven’t really started their marriage, if that makes sense. However, once two people ARE committed and in love I have a real problem with infidelity. I am one of those dinosaurs who believes once you fall truly and deeply in love with THE ONE (and I do believe in the concept of THE ONE!) then I am not interested in infidelity no matter what the reason.
Hi Landra! Thank you! =) And yes, I think it would be difficult for me to write a true villain. It’s the optimist in me. I know horrible people exist in the real world, but in a world I create I’d want to believe that everyone had good inside them, even if it was hidden a bit deeper than in other people. =)
Thanks for your comment, Emily! In the end I think it all goes back to: what is love? Is love something that happens to you, or do you choose it? Because if you choose it, then just as easily as you can choose to cheat and love someone else, you can choose to love the person you’re currently with (understanding we’re not talking about loving evil people who abuse, etc.) and make that relationship work, too. At least, that’s my opinion. =)
Hi Jeanette8042! I understand what you mean. I’d be interested in exploring the “their position in society” piece. Do you have any examples you can think of regarding this? It might help spark a new idea for a future novel, you know. 😉
Hi catslady! I am totally with you with the contemporaries. In fact, I think that’s why I was drawn to historicals in the first place. You can explore a lot more situations and be more forgiving with historicals than you would be able to with contemporaries. For example, beyond the infidelity aspect, there’s the subject of alpha heroes. I seriously don’t think the alpha heroes we see in historicals could translate well into contemporaries. I think our heroines wouldn’t put up with them! =)
Hi Beverley…yeah, I don’t think I want to read that book. Even though I can stand a little fudging with the infidelity issue, it has to stop. It can’t keep going on. And although I’d like to think I would forgive my husband if he ever cheated on me, as a woman who respects and loves herself, I would not put up with serial cheating.
Hi Maureen! Beyond that, the rake who sleeps with a lot of women also makes me think of all those STDs that might come along with it. Yuck. Just. Yuck.
Thanks for your comment, Estella! =)
Ora, I just saw your second post. You are so sweet! =D And I’m so glad you’re enjoying it!
Hi Quilt Lady! I agree–I’m willing to be a little more patient and understanding in fiction than I am in real life. Still, the groveling has to be good. 😉
Hi Ann! Thank you for the congrats, and I hope you enjoy RtC! =D In my first book, SEDUCING THE DUCHESS, the hero did have a mistress after he was married, but I felt comfortable with this for two reasons. 1) The hero didn’t love his wife, so I like to think he was a man who didn’t know any better and who would have to make it up later through much groveling when he did love her; and 2) The mistress was in the past, before the book began. I know I’ve read historical romances that feature the hero or heroine in a sexual relationship before they meet the other person–and who knows, I might write one of these someday–but I think it’s a lot harder to make the jump from that beginning to the HEA at the end.
Hi Barbara! I think there’s something to be said for having the objectivity of being a reader and imaging yourself as the character who cheats. With the perspective, I think yes, unless the author is able to make us somehow identify with the cheater, they will always look more like a villain in our eyes than someone to root for. However, like you said, one way to help us identify with the cheater would be to make us feel sorry for them…such as if they’re abused by their spouse, for example. Great comment! =)
Hi Sandra Lynne! Thank you! I hope you enjoy ROMANCING THE COUNTESS! =)
Thanks for stopping by, Johanna! I’m looking forward to hearing what you think of ROMANCING THE COUNTESS. =)
Hi Jen B.! Lol, thanks for the laugh! =) I couldn’t agree more. I also think that in real life a lot of the issues that are common, such as cheating, wouldn’t happen if both partners were willing to communicate openly.
Hi TinaBuriedUnderBooks! You know, I don’t think I’ve ever read a story where they broke up after the infidelity and then came back together…or maybe I have, and I just can’t remember right now. That does sound like an interesting plot, though. As far as the infidelity happening at all…I think the most important thing would be that the author can’t have the characters treat it lightly. There are a LOT of trust issues that have to be dealt with, so a glossing over and saying “I forgive you’ just isn’t going to be good enough. Thanks for the great comment! =)
Hi Debra! Thanks for stopping by to visit with me today! Yes, I agree–the trust would be the biggest issue to overcome.
Hi Monica C.! =) Thanks for the great comment! I think you might enjoy Evangeline Holland’s books, where she takes this concept of infidelity and shows how it could work with situations similar to the examples you gave. And as for all the characters knowing about, I think you’re right…it would probably be a different genre, too. 😉
Hi Mel! *hugs* Thank you so much for sharing your story. One thing that I know for certain is that love is complicated and it’s almost always never easy. For as many love songs that are out there, I think that there are just as many that talk about how much love hurts and it’s hard, etc etc. I’m so glad you found what you were searching for. And I love you for sharing with me. =)
Hi Louisa! First of all, I’m so GLAD you enjoyed SD!!! =D And thank you for telling me! I know people who didn’t like it because of the infidelity issue before Philip fell in love with Charlotte, but I like the way you explained about infidelity that happens before the relationship really starts. Second, I also agree that once the relationships starts, infidelity is a huge no-no. As for The One *g* I don’t know if you saw a blog post I did recently at Heroes & Heartbreakers, but I actually wrote about The Myth of the One True Love. However, because of a comment that someone said for that post, I think I would revise my belief to say that while I don’t believe in a person being a “one true love”, I believe in the concept. I believe if you choose a person to love, then you stay committed to that person even when it’s not easy to love them, and that is what makes it a “one true love.” Such an interesting discussion. I might have to continue the topic another time. =)
That is a really hard question. When you get married, you are making promises, and fidelity is one of them. If you find you no longer love your spouse or you love someone else more, you must face that and deal with it. Cheating on your partner is not dealing honestly with the issue. If you want to be with the other person, be honest and get a divorce first. Your spouse will be hurt, but not as much as they will be if they find you are cheating. Cheating is the cowards way out.
I honestly don’t know if love is a good enough reason to break your promise. You should be really sure your partner is “the one” you want to spend your life with before you make the commitment of marriage.
In the context of a historical romance where marriages are not made for love but for other reasons it’s really not surprising that characters do find themselves falling in love outside of their marriage; even if they weren’t intentionally looking to do so.
But I sure would want my hero/heroine to be honorable enough to not cheat on their spouse were they to find themselves in such a situation.
infidelity is never good for me in any romance book I read.
I just finished your book and LOVED it! I won a copy through Goodreads, posted my review of it there (Lexi with the picture of the Siberian husky for profile).
Infidelity is horrible and wreaks lives, but this book is a different view of it. Refreshing.
I thought it was great to have snippets of Angela’s love letters heading each chapter. Some made me angry, but eventually I ended up feeling a little sorry for the two lovers who were trying to grasp the amazing love they had found but could instead feel it slipping through their fingers.
As for Leah and Sebastian, loved them both. So well written! I could just keep gushing and gushing (hard to keep it to a minimum writing the review too).
Everyone, pick up this book!
Hi librarypat. Thank you for your comment! I think it’s so easy to make justifications for doing something we would ordinarily consider bad when the going gets tough. Thus, “I don’t want to be with you because I love him” is a great justification when a couple is going through hard times in their marriage. Hard times suck. It’s true. I’ve been there. But I’ve always been glad that we’ve pulled through to the other side. It’s totally worth it.
Hi Linda! Honor is such an interesting concept in our world today. =) I love that it’s something that our historical characters would understand, and yes, you’re right–I would also hope that my character would be honorable enough not to cheat on their spouse even if they loved someone else.
Hi Marjana! Thank you for your comment and for stopping by! =)
Hi Lexi! I could hug you, that’s how much you made my day. =D I’m so thrilled you enjoyed ROMANCING THE COUNTESS, and THANK YOU for the wonderful review! I’m glad to see what you thought of the snippets, because this is exactly what I wanted the reader to feel. Anger at first, and later pity and some sympathy. As you said, infidelity is terrible and wrecks lives, but in my mind when I was writing this, I knew that Ian and Angela were just two people who wanted to be with the one they loved. However, I am glad Leah and Sebastian were able to find each other, since I believe they deserved to be happy about their spouses’ betrayal. And just so you know, I’m okay with gushing. 😉
WELL, ASHLEY I DO CONSIDER CHEATERS VILLANS! THEY BREAK THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER’S HEART AND THAT’S JUST WRONG!=/
AND I DON’T THINK THAT THERE’S AN EXCUSE FOR ANYONE TO CHEAT ON THEIR HUSBAND OR WIFE! IT’S WRONG AND YOU SHOULDN’T DO SOMETHING U DON’T WANT PEOPLE TO DO TO YOU!
JUST SAYING.. LOL!
I think it really depends on how the author writes the story. Someones we’re supposed to hate the cheater, other times feel disappointed that thet haven’t found their way yet, or eager for them to accept their love & hoping they can figure out how to be together. A good author (yes, you) can make us feel the right things for the characters.
I haven’t read this one yet but I loved your first book, so I’m looking forward to this one.