by Kat Latham
When I was 20, a random guy on campus asked me to go to dinner with him. Being a suspicious girl living in LA, I told him I’d pick him up—why give a potential serial killer your address, right?
On our first date, I found out he had a son. I won’t lie—it was a little surprising, since he was 23 and had sole custody of his six-year-old boy. But I admired him for being a devoted dad.
On our second date, I found out he also had a daughter. She lived in a different state with her mom.
Although I was a little nervous about what I would discover on a third date, I really liked him, so we went out again. And again. And probably a couple more times after that. At some point he gave me a little pot with bamboo in it, along with a sweet little speech about how the bamboo was like our relationship: I could nurture it and it would grow, or I could neglect it and it would wither away.
All seemed well…until The Date. You know the one—when a relationship is starting to feel like it might be heading somewhere serious, and you’re a big mess of nerves wondering if he’s the only one you want and whether he’s feeling the same about you.
I arrived at his apartment for our sixth (or so) date, exhausted. I’d just driven three hours through heavy traffic from visiting my parents. My self-preservation radar was on the blip.
I didn’t realize until we got on the freeway in East LA that he was drunk. He hadn’t seemed impaired at all when we’d walked to his car. He’d been jolly and funny, as usual. His speech was fine. But damn if he didn’t struggle to keep the car in one lane on that freeway. That particular freeway is three lanes with no shoulder—just cement blocks on both sides. And he swerved back and forth across all three lanes.
As he drove, he sipped from a 44-oz cup of “grape juice”, which smelled an awful lot like whiskey.
I tried to stay cool and figure out what to do. If he couldn’t navigate the freeway, there was no way we’d survive the sharply curved off ramps, where you had to drop your speed from 65 to 15 in a matter of feet in order to stay on the road.
The freeway ended in Pasadena, a nice part of LA, and I breathed a sigh of relief as he managed to park his car next to the fancy restaurant he was taking me to.
And then he did it. He pissed in the bushes in front of the restaurant.
No, I didn’t stay for dinner. Nor was there a seventh date.
The next day, I gave him back all the stuff we’d exchanged—except the bamboo, which, unlike our relationship, has thrived.
Bad dates are fertile ground for writers. Last week, a British journalist on Twitter mentioned a bad date he’d once had. So many people responded that he put the tweets together on Storify: Your awful dates in 140 characters.
There are so many awful, painfully funny dates there that it’s hard to choose a favorite. This one’s pretty bad, though:
@msemmabray: went out with a guy who sent me a scanner pic of his penis the next day. Squashed against the glass, with his number written on it!
@poubelle2011: went on a date it all seemed to go well until he gave me a note in it were bits of his eyebrow because he thought I’d like them
And hopefully this one ended quickly:
@The_Moviegoer: Guy came to get me in his new Porsche. Before I got in, he put a towel on my seat because “girls can sometimes be sweaty down there”
With bad dates on my mind, this weekend I pulled Not Another Bad Date by Rachel Gibson out of my to-be-read pile. Rachel Gibson is one of my favorite contemporary romance authors; her novels are funny, gripping and very sexy.
And this book is no different. It features a woman who’s been cursed to have bad dates until she reunites with the man she fell in love with in college. But with his jealous dead wife throwing obstacles in their way from purgatory, they have a hell of a lot to get over before they can have their happily ever after.
Go on, tell us—what’s been your worst date? Comment and enter to win a book from my Anniversary stash and an entry for my end of year Grand Prize Drawing of an iPad 2.
Kat Latham has been reading romance for a couple of decades. With degrees in English lit and human rights, she loves stories that reflect the depth, humor and emotion of real life. When she’s not writing contemporary romance novels, she can usually be found blogging or tweeting overly personal information. She loves meeting other readers and writers online, so follow her on Twitter or check out her blog and say hello!
My worst date was with a guy who smelled like smoke and alcohol when he picked me up. He propositioned me with sex during dinner (immediate loss of appetite when I so thought I just take the free meal and run), and then took a booty call as I was exiting his car. It was the worst date I have ever been on! Ever!!!
Zee, http://firepages.wordpress.com
My date took me sailing on a rigged ship. I wore a strappy sun dress & sandals. What was I thinking?? When we headed out of the harbor & into open ocean I was so ill. I spent the entire time below decks wearing a smelly pullover someone offered up & vomiting. Gone forever was my image of a sun-filled deck, the wind in my hair & romance on the high seas.
My worst date was when I was sixteen. He was a good boy and insisted that my dad come along. Then he took us to see a movie, which was Natural Born Killers. That movie has alot of nudity and was so imbarrassing. So there I was sitting in the middle of my dad and my date watching a movie that at the time seemed like it sould have been in the adult section of the movie store. It was horrible and also the only date I ever went on with him.
Worst date was with a guy who loved hiking and the outdoors. He apparently didn’t feel that the weather was going to be so bad for what he had planned as a surprise picnic. I am not so outdoorsy but tried to keep up on a hellish hike which previous rains had made dangerously slick on a mountainside. When we got to a ridged clearing the heavens opened and the deluge began. It was awful and when we got back to the car, I shivered all the way home in my wet clothes.
My worse date ever is I went out with this guy which seemed very nice. Our first date I found out that he was very very very religous. (I have no problem with any religion) At the time I was a single parent of one and a Pagan. Nevertheless I was damned within 5 minutes of the date.
I went out with a guy–this was the summer before I started college. He was really cute, that’s why I agreed to go out with him (so very shallow. Don’t worry, I get my just desserts).
He wanted to follow me everywhere. Spend all this time with me. I started to feel a little hemmed in. Anyway, we got to talking and he was really shocked when I told him I was going to college, which was just a tad bit surprising because to me that’s where most 18 yr olds went after high school. He said he worked at a cookie factory. He was very proud he made minimum wage, which at that time was 3 dollars and change an hour. I asked him what else did he want to do later in his life–after all he was only 19. He said he wanted to work at that cookie factory doing exactly what he was doing–the money was good, the work was easy. He was content.
The love affair was officially over and I never went out with him again. A man with no ambition is one of the biggest turn offs.
@beyondjenna
LMAO!!!!
When I was much younger a friend introduced me to a young man who asked me out. the date consisted of leaving me in his car, parked in front of the apartment building where he decided to visit a friend for an hour. It was unbelieveable. I was stranded in his car and stuck there for hours. needless to say that never happened again.
I was 22 and on my first blind date. That alone should have set off alarms. He picked me up at 6 for movie and dinner. We never made it to the movie because the mother of his child decided to follow him that night. So he drove like a mad man weaving in and out of traffic trying to lose her, but that didn’t work. She ended up ramming the car until he just had to pull over or get rammed off the road. Let’s just say I didn’t stick around for the reunion I called my BFF and had her come get me. He had the nerve to call later that night asking if we could try again with no worries about his child’s mother because she went to jail.
I don’t have any really bad experiences. Unfortunately, I haven’t been on that many dates.
@Marie
You have me absolutely HOWLING!!!!
Never really had a 1st date. My husband and I starter “going together” When I was 12 and he was 14. Then we were married when I was 15 and he was 17. We couldn’t even drive when we were 1st together. lol. Most people have their 1st date at about 16. I was married by that time and of course I had a sweet baby girl too. We have been married 33 years now and still going strong. It was really hard sometimes, but I wouldn’t change a thing. 🙂
@Rebekah
Seriously?? And your dad went??? The mind just spins.
Guy came to pick me up and told me I had to sit in the back bc his cat always sits in the front. First date didn’t even happen. I just backed away n politely told him no thanks.
When you’ve been married as long as I have, dates are just a distant (and unclear) memory. Nothing too terrible comes to mind. But thank goodness you survived the drunken highway experience. Threatening your safety that way is beyond a bad date in my book.
Wow, such scary stories. I too had just a handful of dates because I met this new kid in high school. He had traveled the world and I had never left my hometown. I do remember us running out of gas on our first date and my mom saying that was it for him and for the first time I defied my mom so I guess I knew then lol. We’ve been married 41 years.
@Marie: oh my! She rammed into the car!? Crazy.
I think my worst date definitely happened with this one guy. We were getting to know each other for the second time ( date
D once before for a week, one of those types of things.) Anyway, it was getting pretty serious by this point and we were at his friends house when his phone rings. There was this silence and look between him and his friend that you knew, just knew, he was going to do something stupid.
He answers and five minutes later runs off saying he’ll ” be back.”
Lo and behold, I was thoroughly ditched for an ex that night. I ended up even driving past him and said girl. It was hogh school so it was all very dramatic. Luckily, I’m one of those you get one shot type of people. Never even answered his call later and that was the end of that. I do have a great husband though so I it was with dumping him! 🙂
I went out on a date with this guy I met who was older and seemed so mature. I was in my first year of college and he was about to graduate. We went out on the typical dinner and a movie date and I learned he wasn’t as mature as I thought (being that I was so mature myself right??? lol) For some reason he kept talking on and on about rappers and how that “hip-hop” lifestyle was so “hot”. His style was clean cut and he was preppy looking, so I guess I was lucky he didn’t show up wearing his baggy clothes and gold chains. Then the movie… where I discovered he had the worst laugh ever! He was laughing through the movie so loud and obnoxiously that it was drawing stares and laughter (at him). I can’t even describe how terrible this laugh was. When he dropped me off he kept trying to dive in for the kiss, and I had to keep doing the awkward turning of the head. It must have looked like we were doing some sort of dance, cause he just kept trying and I kept dodging.
I even remember the DATE: July 18, 1998. I’d met him at the gym (6’5″, 245, trainer and model) and we had the same birthday. I hadn’t been on a date in over a year, and he was nice to me, which was rare.
He was late to the date (first sign) and we walked around Old Town for a bit and grabbed a drink. Then we walked some more, and he started telling me about his ideal woman…how she would be like Michael Jordan’s and Denzel Washington’s wives, who supported them before they got famous, and how they reaped the awards. How his mother supported his father, and how it was true love. And how he wanted to be the next Rock and get into wrestling and movies (he definitely had the looks for it). If the date had had theme music, the scary violins would have started. If this were a movie, the audience would have been telling me to run.
Me? I stuck around (second sign).
We decided to get something to eat at a diner. He then starte complimenting my butt, and wouldn’t stop. Over and over and over. I started laughing and playfully said “shut up” and he snapped. Back to the scary theme music. He went ballistic, how NO ONE told him to shut up, how his MOTHER didn’t tell his FATHER to shut up, and how rude I was. Date over.
Whew.
After I got home, he called me to apologize for his behaviour. Said he was stressed out over a move and didn’t mean it. Three minutes later, he snapped AGAIN because I didn’t ask for his new number for after the move (remember, this was in 1998 before a lot of people had cell phones). I told him I figured he’d let me know, and he got madder. He called me a rude bitch and hung up on me.
Finally. I thought I was done with him.
Ninety minutes later, he called me back and said “I miss you.” I was officially scared then.
(I found out much later that he was on steroids and was on a serious hunt for a sugar mama. As of a year ago, he was still hunting.)
I have no horrible stories, but reading these have been interesting.
FOR THOSE WHO THINK LOOKS ARE ALL THAT!!! But this one really took the cake. I only needed two dates to figure out what was up. So here goes. We met through friends and I gotta say he was hot…dark hair..blue eyes..well over 6’2′ hunky of burning love to look at. We seemed to get along but we were surrounded by a large group of people and I really wasn’t concentrating on him solely. Big mistake. Well long story short he asked me out again. I said I would call him…so we went out again. So our first actual date we meet at a nice restaurant/bar and for some reason he could not or would not talk to my face…he kept looking at my breasts (yes I am well endowed). But still I am up here…not there right! I was not showing racy cleavage…one must see what he is like first before you entice right! But given he was so hot looking I agreed to a second date. We went to another pub that played piano music…low lights…very romantic. He drove a Mercedes…spent money like it was water. But that all went to hec and a hand basket when he spoke these words…Are you ready. He stated that people like us…he explained beautiful people like us attract each other. I asked him what he meant..his words exactly “like attracts like” needless to say I was floored. He was serious…totally and completely serious. I went along with the conversation…what else could I do. He picked me up from my apartment so he knew where I lived so I thought just smile and go along with it till it over. He did call me a few times..never answered or called him again.
Whew…such a hot guy with so little inside. Such a shame! LOL!
My date helped me out of the car, but didn’t quite wait long enough before closing the car door. He pushed it shut and hit me right in the mouth with it! I did go out with him again, though.
I haven’t been on very many dates so I can honestly say that I have no horror stories. It’s pretty fun to read everyone else’s though.
Worst date for me was a long time ago, in college. He only wanted to talk about how he was going to become a professional golfer after graduation. I consider golf to be incredibly boring so it made for a very long evening. But even worse — I just wasn’t impressed with his life plan!
I can’t say I really had any bad dates, they all seem to be ok, nothing bad ever happened.
This guy I met called me to go to lunch. I agreed and we were having a nice lunch when he brought up that he was engaged. I was clueless and flabbergasted. He wanted an intimate relationship and nothing more. Do I have LOSER stamped on my forehead.
Pam
After reading about some of your dates, my date wasn’t quite as bad. I went out with him as a favor to friends. We went to a drive-in and instead of watching the good movie, all he did was talk about himself and cars. I hadn’t liked him before the date, and I definitely avoided him after it.
I said no to sex and the guy slugged me and broke my nose.
OMG, Estella!!!
Wow, some of those stories are crazy! Thankfully I’ve never been on a bad date. I got lucky and found my match on the first go around.
@Estella
Get out!!
i have not been on one yet lol
those are great stories
thanks
have a good weekedn all
Luckily, my worst date was only boring. Trying to get the guy talk was like pulling teeth. I was tired and didn’t have the patience to basically babysit him (it was a group date in college). Since I was only pinch-hitting for a friend, I wasn’t that upset about it but I did tell his friends afterward why I was so hard on the poor guy.
I haven’t been on all that many dates, and don’t really have any horror stories that I can recall. Of course it’s been so long since ago, it’s all a blur by now, LOL. I’ve enjoyed the stories though, my gosh some guys are really terrible.
I’ve never had any terrible dates. But I did enjoy reading everyones replies!
my wrose date is that this guy took me on a date and made me pay for everything in the date.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to put this out there because it’s so embarrasing…when I was in college I was young, immature and very clueless about relationships and people in general…somewhat sheltered by old fashioned parents. I had a crush on this guy that I would eat lunch with in a group, he asked me to go clubbing with him and I jumped at the chance thinking it was a date…it wasn’t …..it turned out that he didn’t even like women in that way…he batted for the other team….which I found out when we went to lets just say …an eye opening club….I was mortified because I’d been flirting all night…clearly we never went out again and luckily the next semester our class schedules changed and we no longer had lunch together…..needless to say any future dates I’ve gone on…I’ve verified that it’s a date…lol…I can laugh at it now because it was the 80’s…..
@Marjana OMG! I guess that was the last date.
@Maria, Oh dear Lord! That so reminds me of Clueless (great movie). How embarrassing, but as you said, you can laugh about now. 🙂
Ha! That is a GREAT bad date story! It had me laughing out loud.
Can’t say I have had a worse one. The most embarrassing one was I went to see a scifi movie with a friend who also happened to be the only other scifi lover I knew. After the movie we were hashing it out having a great time when he asked if we were dating now, he thought it was a date date. I thought it was just hey I want to see this movie too let’s go! Awkward…
@Silk
Steroids. That says it all.
I’m not sure if this counts:
My husband and I were on our weekly movie date — we’d settled into our seats and were happily munching on popcorn while watching all the trailers.
My phone starts vibrating (on silent mode) — it was my sister and she was frantic. Apparently, my son jumped off the bed and hit his back on the edge of the bed. They were bringing him to the ER because there was already a bruise on his back and he wouldn’t stop crying.
We never even saw the title sequence. Now, we schedule our movie date for when the kids are napping. ^_^
I went out with a friend my senior year of high school. His father drove us around and was actually giving his son pointers on making out while we sat in the back seat. There wasn’t a second date.
My worst date was when I went to a movie with a guy, then afterwords we ran into a girl he knew and he ignored me for 15 minutes to flirt with her (in front of me) while I just stood there feeling like an idiot.
These worst date stories are great! I, actually don’t have a worst date moment. Boring and awkward, yes but nothing where my day was ruined and real offense was taken. I am picking up tips on signs to watch out far though. The blog’s update for Fall is fantastic looking 🙂
These are AWESOME – except for the ones that are just scary! Yikes – glad you all got through your dates!
@librarypat, you actually made me laugh out loud. If the guy’s dad was that clueless about good date behavior, the poor kid had NO chance!
I haven’t been on any really horrible dates. I’ve been on a lot of mediocre dates, but none were particularly traumatizing.
For instance, my boyfriend right now… He is very sweet, very smart, very funny, great job, house, car. What more could you ask for? But he has no idea how to charm a woman and he can be totally clueless. Suffice to say that we went out several times before I finally kissed *him.* It’s gone well from there. 😉
My worst date looked acceptable and was a friend of a (now former!!!) good friend. After hearing he was such a nice guy how could I say no to dinner.
We went to a super nice restaurant. The conversation was ok, not too bad but not great either. I’m the kinda girl who loves her food & this was a really great place to eat. I decided to have the whole meal he would pay for & endure the company. If only I hadn’t been so hungry. So I was tuning out a bit, being polite but definitely NOT interested in getting to know him better.
Just before desert (I planned on chocolate cake) he suddenly dropped his cutlery and went underneath the table. Disappearing from sight completely. He was sitting there for quiet a while & I started to feel SO uncomfortable. People where staring aswell. What on earth was he doing? Was he asleep? Had a heartattack maybe? I carefully looked down the short tablecloth and he just sat there, looking weirdly at my legs. I asked: is there a problem?
He claimed to be “enjoying the view”. I didn’t force my foot into his face, though I was tempted for sure. As he now tried to get a hold of my ankles to keep me from getting up and leaving the table. Thank goodness I wore casual jeans with a cute top, not a dress, but I still found it really creepy!!! I broke free and excused myself to the ladiesroom. Taking my purse and jacket with me. I called my sister and she quickly came to my rescue, I did not want to be alone with this guy for a second longer! What a nut, now you understand why the friend who set us up is no longer on my christmas list.
My one and only blind date. Probably the worst one I ever had. It’s been so long.
A friend set me up and we went out to dinner, with a movie planned for afterward. We exchanged “life” stories as both of us were divorced. Except as we talked I found out I knew his ex-wife. She was my boss.
Needless to say, no movie. And I insisted on paying for my own meal!!
My bff set me up on a blind date (bad idea). The guys seemed normal while we went to see a movie and had dinner. At dinner, he spotted his ex with some other guy. He got up (without saying excuse me or anything–rude!), went to her table and begged her to take him back. WFT?! I asked the waiter to split the check, paid for my meal and called my bff to pick me up.
I didn’t even go and try to talk him out of it. It was just awkward and uncomfortable. Good thing I never saw him again. My bff totally made it up to me. He had actually been a friend of a friend of hers. Apparently he wasn’t over his ex. Geez! It would’ve been nice to know that before I went out with him.
I was on a date and we went to the drive-in. While there my date disappear for about 20 minutes when he came back he was staggering. Needless to say that was my first and last date with him.
I had dated a guy & we broke up (friendly break up). He wanted to try again several months later, & I figured one date wouldn’t hurt since I Had liked him once, we were still friends, & our break up was more about being too busy to actually see each other much.
Only to have him tell me how much he wanted to be with my stepsister & how he loved her & maybe if we dated again she’d hear how great he was & want to date him. And that if I wouldn’t date him & let him try to win her over he’d be so alone because no one else would want him. (talking like that…. No. they wouldn’t)
what’s worse… I said we could pretend to be a couple since a Very Nice but not at all attractive friend was working up to ask me out &i wanted a reason to decline that had nothing to do with hurting his feelings. I broke up with the guy a few days after the friend asked me out. I did not see him between his begging &our break up.
We did not stay friends after that.
The worst bad date… um well, I can’t really say because I only went out with my Hubby…
Our first date, he was so nervous that he didn’t pay attention while backing out of our parking space that he bumped a truck behind us lol… I know this is nothing like what other people have been through, but it’s all I’ve got! =D
It wasn’t a bad date exactly but… It was a double date to the movies with my older brother and his girlfriend. It also happened to be with a friend of my brother’s. We went to eat at a fast food place and he stretched out his arms and said that I could have anything thing I wanted (off the dollar menu). Needless to say this is something that my brother still makes fun of to this day. I will add that we were teenagers at the time.
@Breiab LMAO! Love it.