by Kat Latham
Back in the early 90s, when I first started reading romance, I remember reading a few books where there was a big age difference between the hero and heroine. Of course, the hero was always the older one.
In one book, the hero was in his late 30s and ended up with a 19-year-old woman. At the time, that didn’t gross me out because I was barely a teenager…37 and 19 seemed equally elderly to me. But now that I’m older, that age difference isn’t romantic—it’s grooming.
I was thinking about this recently as I read Victoria Dahl’s latest contemporary, Bad Boys Do—a novel that’s sure to be one of my top picks of 2011. The story features 29-year-old Jamie Donovan, a bartender with a bad-boy reputation, and Olivia Bishop, a mid-thirties teacher whose much-older husband left her for a much-younger woman.
Age plays a big role in keeping Olivia and Jamie apart, as she believes he’s someone she can fool around with but doesn’t think he’d want to settle down with her. Jamie, on the other hand, is thrilled to have a relationship that feels like an actual relationship instead of a hook-up. He’s ready to grow up and man up, and being with Olivia encourages him to do both.
When she’s with Jamie, Olivia can explore the youthful side of herself that she suppressed throughout her marriage. Of course, one thing that makes this story different from the ones I read in the 90s is that both characters are well into their adulthoods when they get together. They’re not a coupling between a starry-eyed innocent and a jaded man approaching middle age.
Another difference is that the older person in the relationship is the woman. It’s unusual in romance, especially when the age difference is more than a year or two. But it’s a kind of relationship I hope to see explored even more.
How do you feel about age differences in romance? Do you know of other novels where the heroine’s older than the hero?
Kat Latham has been reading romance for a couple of decades. With degrees in English lit and human rights, she loves stories that reflect the depth, humor and emotion of real life. When she’s not writing contemporary romance novels, she can usually be found blogging or tweeting overly personal information. She loves meeting other readers and writers online, so follow her on Twitter or check out her blog and say hello!
Age difference in novels don’t really bother me, though I prefer books where the hero older than the heroine. I recently finished reading LaVyrle Spencer’s “Family Blessings” where the heroine is 15 years older than the hero.
I read mainly historical romances and the older woman/younger man scenerio is used very little. However a few years ago, I read an anthology titled ‘In Praise of Younger Men’. All of the stories had the older woman and a younger man. That was true but the age differences were less than a year coming down to only 1-2 months apart leaving me to think they were the same age. I felt a little cheated by this. OWYM should be at least a few years anyway to really qualify for this scenerio. I didn’t think the stories lived up the the anthology title. On top of that, it was MHO the stories were only mediocure at best.
Usually my heroines are older, but I just finished writing a book (Lady Anne’s Lover, out in spring 2013) where the heroine is 19 & the hero 33. Shades of Prince Charles and Diana, and we all know how that turned out. But in 1820 a 19 year old might very well have been married for several years & a mother already. My heroine has had experiences that have made her grow up fast, too. It was tricky, though, and I hope the age difference won’t be a problem for readers. One of my favorite Heyer books is These Old Shaes, where Avon is a zillion years older than Leonie. She manages to put him in his place quite nicely, though!
Did you just write that to tempt me and drive me crazy!!!! 2013????!!!! You know I’m practically sobbing, right?
I love a big age difference between the hero and heroine. I prefer older historical romances where that’s the norm. I don’t really like an older heroine unless it’s in an erotic romance, for some reason.
Maggie, can’t wait to read your upcoming book in 2013!
Age differents doesn’t bother me in romance. I just read an older book by Jennifer Crusie Anyone But You and the heroine was Ten year older then the hero and I really enjoyed this book. It was really cute! One of the better books that I read lately!
I don’t enjoy reading the older woman/younger man theme. As I get older, I also don’t like the hero’s age being almost twice that of the woman’s age. That said, I did enjoy Julie Anne Long’s, What I Did for a Duke. She incorporated the age difference into the plot.
I don’t mind an age difference between the characters — either way — as long as one part of the couple does not beat to death their inability/fear/shame to be with the other person b/c of the age difference. Of course it’s realistic to have the characters remark on it and even worry about it a bit but I cannot stand when the age difference becomes too big a part of the story.
It bothered me more when I was younger but I’ve learned that life isn’t easily categorized and love certainly isn’t. An older woman with a younger man isn’t as shocking anymore. And if it’s a real romance, good for them. Now I’m a little more critical when one of the parties is only out for money lol. So I’m pretty open to anything, especially in my reading.
An older man with a younger woman is very, very common in historical romance. It was pretty typical for a debutante to end up married to a man 15 years or more older than she was, and those were the younger men who were marrying! Less than a ten year difference was almost weird at the time. Which seems to me the reason why you see so many dowager duchesses/countesses/etc – their 10+ years older husband died first!
That being said, I don’t mind age difference either way, whether it’s the man or the woman who is older. As long as the story is well-written and the romance seems genuine, then I find it interesting to see a happy, successful relationship between people of different ages.
I read a really great Urban Fantasy with a major romantic subplot a few months back called Kindling the Moon, by Jenn Bennett. The heroine is 25, and the man that she falls in love with is in his early forties and has a 13 year old son. When I first read that, I was like … “Um, weird.” Then the further I got into the novel, the more perfect everything was. And the 13 year old boy was fantastic, maybe my favorite character from the novel. It was brilliantly done!
I normally read stories where the man is older than the woman since I read a lot of historical romances, but in today’s world that is not always the case. I don’t think I have ever read a book where the woman was older than the man. However, it would not bother me if I did read one as long as the age difference isn’t harped on to death.
I know years ago it was not uncommon to have the older hero and younger heroine and it never struck me as a problem but now that my daughter is in college I find my views have changed as to what age a man can be when he’s in a relationship with a young woman.
I have to agree with Maureen. I never cared either way until I had sons now
In their 20’s and I think oh please don’t date someone your mothers age! Lol!
I dont think I have ever been bothered by age differences in a book, although most of the romance novels I have come across feature an older hero to the heroine. Typically the hero is anywhere from 4-8 years older. I don’t mind this because I prefer an older guy, however I have come across same-age couples, and older women stories that I have reall enjoyed. Age plays no factor in how much I like a story and its characters, rather I want their personalities to suit their ages and that there is a great story.
Age difference really doesn’t bother me, unless one of the participants is a juvenile.
The only time age difference has even made an impression on me was when it was an early 30’s guy (sort of normal) and an 18 yr old girl (who seemed 14 due to her immaturity). The actual age difference didn’t bother me, more just the maturity difference. Guess I am saying age is just a number =)
Never read a book with the female older, but Bad Boys Do sounds like a good story line!
About a 1/3 of a way through Bad Boys Do.. and love it so far. How can you not love Jamie in a kilt?? Age differences usually don’t matter, and I usually like it when the hero is older. But there does get to a point where it gets a little creepy. Especially when the girl is barely legal and the man is too controling or dominant. The female being older is refreshing yet, it is a bit sad when she is too hung up on being older. I remember reading Jennifer Crusie’s Anyone But You and, although I loved the story, I couldn’t wait for the heroine to get over it the hangups and just enjoy.
I don’t mind age differences that much unless the heroine is really really young and the hero is way older. When I was in my teens the first books I started reading were Harlequin Presents which had alot of very young heroines (around 19) with heroes in their late 30’s. At the time, since I was that age, I thought it was great! But now that I am getting older the age difference seems more obvious. Anne Mather has alot of older woman/younger man books. They are very good!
Age difference in romance books doesn’t bother me too much.
As long as they are both over 18…I really don’t have any problem with age different gaps
I don’t mind an age difference either way, I think Victoria Dahl’s book sounds fantastic, and the difference in ages is creating a conflict, which is great for the story.
I find the older I get, the more the HUGE – 20+ years – age difference will bother me. I don’t like the heroine’s too too young. In contemporary romances she needs to at least be 24-25. I can’t do the 18-19 year old heroines with 37 year old men anymore – a la Harlequin in the 70s and 80s. Historicals are different. Young ladies really did marry that young. I still prefer them at least in their early twenties though.
I don’t like young virginal heroines and much older men. I don’t think I noticed as much when I was a younger reader, now it just has an icky feel to it. And age differences don’t seem as noticeable as the H/H get older, just like in real life. I don’t like my characters to be old enough to be the other’s mother/father.
I read another review online about Victoria Dahl’s book, she is a new to me author and the story sounds like it is going to be a fun one!
Unless the older one is in their 50s and the younger in their teens, it does not bother me. I have read several books where the heroine was older. They seem to be popular right now.
I don’t mind them, except when the hero falls in love with the heroine when she’s really young. Yeech.
I like older women stories, being several years older than my husband. I have a shelf of them at GoodReads: http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/2833071-willaful?shelf=older-woman-younger-man
I’m not a fan of older woman/younger man books especially if there is more than a five year age difference. Nor do I like reading books were both the H/h are in the 40’s.
Sherry Thomas’s NOT QUITE A HUSBAND is a historical where the herione is a couple of years older than the herione.
I was in my 20s when I started reading romance, and I have to admit the really big age differences, where the hero was nearly 40 and the herione 18 or 19 used to bother me. Now that heriones in romance are typically older, it doesn’t seem like quite such a big deal to me personally.
One memorable story where the heroine was much older than the hero was Jude Deveraux’s The Invitation —
I think having an older woman creates an interesting dynamic in the story — the woman is not so naive and innocent and is able to hold her own.
@Maggie Robinson/Margaret Rowe — you’ve just given me something to look forward to in 2013! ^_^
Most books, probably 99%, I read the man is older. In Historical Romance, for example, the man is often considerably older.
I don’t really mind the age difference either way. It’s all about the story and how it works with that. Since historicals are my favorite and the “norm” is for hero to be older than the heroine, it doesn’t really draw my attention.
Age difference doesn’t bother me too much, as long as it’s not overwhelming. That said, Julie-Anne Long’s WHAT I DID FOR A DUKE is among my favorite books of the year, and there is pretty large age gap there. I think it’s all about the characters and how they’re written.
As long as it’s well written I can get over age differences. I’d rather not see a difference of +10 years though. I’d rather he be older, but there have been great books I’ve read where she was older than him.
It all depends on how it’s written & how the age difference affects the characters I suppose.