Please welcome the fabulous Sarah Mayberry to the blog today. If you haven’t read her yet, you should. She’s one of my favourite authors, and I’ve read every single book she’s ever published. Hot Island Nights is the solitary Contemporary Romance Top Pick this month. Check out my review of it here.
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Do you believe that some relationships are Meant To Be?
I was thinking about this question this weekend, spurred on by the fantastic Yvonne Lindsay book Iām reading.Ā Stand In Brideās Seduction is about one of those classic romance novel situations – an identical twin is asked by her sister to stand in for her with her fiance while the first sister rushes off to deal with a mysterious crisis. Of course, the first sister and the hero have no chemistry, but things are hugely different with the stand-in sister – even though theyāre identical twins, thereās just something about the second sister that cooks the heroās goose.
Which, as I said, got me thinking. There are lots of scientific theories about sexual attraction and love and pheromones, but as a romance reader (and writer!) I tend to favor the idea that some couples are just meant to be.Ā I know of a real life example of this – my good friend and her husband met while they were both working overseas and the night of their first date, she went home and told her flat mate that he was the man she was going to marry. Two weeks later, he proposed, and she said yes.Ā Ten years later, they have three children and a great marriage.
As a big believer in love, I am seriously invested in the idea that sometimes you just know that the person standing across the room from you is The One. It appeals to me on so many levels, even though I know that in real life love probably sneaks up on most of us in small increments as intimacy deepens.
As a writer, I like to play with the idea that sometimes my characters are aware on a deeply unconscious level that the other person is The One – but for reasons of their own theyāre not quite ready to plunge head-first into all that that represents.Ā Sometimes that unwelcome awareness manifests itself as a niggling sort of irritation with the other person –Ā why are they unsettling me so much? Why do I feel so uncomfortable when theyāre around? – and other times it manifests itself as straight-up I-canāt-stand-you conflict.
In my current release, Hot Island Nights, my hero and heroine definitely do not hit it off on their first meeting, even though on a very primitive level they are aware of each other. Elizabeth is tired and jet-lagged and keyed up, having flown all the way from England to hunt down the man she believes is her biological father, while Nate is hung-over and deeply reluctant to get sucked into someone elseās personal crisis. As Elizabeth eventually discovers, Nate may look like a care-for-nothing surfie with a hot body and no conscience, but in reality he is doing his best to cope with the aftermath of serious trauma.
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Hot Island Nights
Author: Sarah Mayberry
Publisher: Harlequin Blaze
Pub. Date: September 1, 2010
ISBN-13: 978-0373795703
Retail: $4.99
Pages: 224
Elizabeth Morgan didn’t intend to abandon her very proper life. But that’s the best way to find her trueāand less properāself. So here she is in Australia, standing in front of a man who’s clad only in a towel. Nathan Jones is so tempting he could be the ideal candidate to help this good girl be very bad!
Sure enough, thanks to Nathan’s talented hands, Elizabeth is living all her sensual fantasies. And while the sex is great, something more is developing. She trusts him, and wants to share her secrets with him, and… Suddenly this feels more like a real relationship than some fun in the sun. Luckily, there’s a cure for too much commitmentāmore wickedness!
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These two people need each other – they just donāt know it in those first few moments. But they also canāt stay away from or stop thinking thinking about each other.Ā And when Elizabeth discovers the extent of Nateās problems – and theyāre sizable – she faces a tough choice: disengage and move on from the messy, difficult challenge he represents, or dig in and do her best to help him come to terms with his past. A hard decision to make at the best of times, but when her fling with Nate is supposed to be a holiday romance, it becomes even more daunting.
Iād love to hear your thoughts and stories about instant attraction, love at first sight and The One. Do you believe in any of the above? If not, why not? And if you do, what makes you believe? Iāll be giving away 2 (two copies) ofĀ Hot Island Nights to two random postersĀ – just comment and youāll be in the running to win. So, over to you… Iām looking forward to your responses.
Other books by Sarah Mayberry:
I do not believe in them because I have seen a lot of people get divorced. I hope that I will be able to find my One, but I am a little guarded in believing in instant attraction and love at first sight. I believe a friendship growing into love has a better chance.
If the question was do I believe in love at first sight, I would definitely answer no! However, if you ask me if a love is meant to be I would say, it depends on so many factors. I think we can have more than one ‘true’ love in our life. I don’t think anything is fated though.
I dont believe in love at first sight. love takes time you need to learn about each other grow with each other however do I believe that some people are meant to be together. All though I have not experienced it I hope I will some day.
I don’t believe in love at first sight but I do believe people are meant to be together. Great question!
I don’t really believe in love at first sight. Yes you can have an instant attraction to someone, but that’s not necessarily love. I do believe there is that someone out there for everyone. Obviously I missed mine since I’ve been married and divorced twice. I do still believe in love though.
Congrats on the new release, Sarah. I’m not sure if I truly believe in love at first sight. I do believe in lust at first sight. I just think that you need to know a person more deeply before you can truly love them. I think there is someone for everyone out there.
Congrats on the new release! And to answer your question; yes I do believe people are meant to be together even if it’s love at second sight. I’ve been living one for the last 13 years š
Jane said (part of) what I was going to say! “Iām not sure if I truly believe in love at first sight. I do believe in lust at first sight.”
And, yes, I do believe some couples are meant to be together. ^_^
Congrats on your new release!
Congrats on the new release, Sarah! I’m so grateful to Anna Campbell for introducing me to your wonderful books. You’ve become one of my auto-buys!
I’m not sure I believe in love at first sight but I do believe in fate or a “gut feeling” at first sight. The guy I was dating at the time introduced me to a man at our apartment complex pool one day. All it took was one look into that man’s eyes to know we would end up together. We became good friends and it was a year before romance entered the picture (I wasn’t quite ready) but I never doubted that he was the one I was fated to be with. We were best friends, soul mates and had a wonderful marriage for 25 years before cancer took him too soon.
Congrats on the new release. You are a new to me author and the book sounds awesome.
I believe in lust at first sight but to act on it straight away is wrong. You must develop a friendship first and foremost. You can have a intuitive feeling about the other person but it still has to be cultivated in my opinion.
Love & Hugs,
Pam
Hello everybody! I’ll try to respond in order:
Stephanie M – Definitely love is about a lot more than that first moment. My partner of 17 years was my friend first and to this day I believe our solid friendship is the reason we have survived all the ups and downs over the years.
Beverly – I too believe that we can have more than one true love. I have definitely been in love more than once in my life, and just because the other loves didn’t work out didn’t mean that my feelings weren’t real and genuine at the time. There’d be a lot of single people around if we only had the capacity to fall in love once.
Jen – Sometimes you hear great stories, about people literally passing in the night for several years – sometimes decades – before they hook up and then Wham! it’s doves and love hearts etc, etc. I love those “meant to be” stories. I love reading them in books, too.
Amanda – see my answer for Jen! As for the question, it was one I was thinking about all week after reading Yvonne Lindsay’s book. I really got me thinking about why we’re attracted to one person and not another. Personally, I hope the scientists never work out the mechanics of this mysterious process – the day they start selling “love in a spray-can”, I’m outta here…
Linda – Hi Linda, lovely to see you here. If you can fall in love and marry twice, it can happen a third time. Absolutely!
Jane – Definitely lust at first sight exists! That’s what a lot of Blazes are all about, after all. But I agree with you that true love is about knowing and accepting each other – hard to do in sixty seconds as your eyes lock across a crowded room.
Host – Love at second sight is a great way of putting it. When I first met my partner, I thought he was nice and funny but that was about it. Then I met him a second time and suddenly it hit me that he was totally hot. Bizarre that I didn’t see that the first time, but in a way it gave us a chance to talk and get to know each other without me being in danger of drooling on myself. Not necessarily a bad way to go!
Lura – I think the consensus from us romance-a-holics is that we like the idea of people who fit together like puzzle pieces. What is it Tom Cruise said (pre-couch jump) in Jerry McGuire? “You complete me”. Very succinct and beautiful – and written by a man, no less!
PJpuppymom – Oh, Anna Campbell is the bee’s knees, the cat’s pajamas and the ants pants, all rolled into one. She’s such a lovely, generous, smart, funny, talented, awesome lady, and I was rapt to catch up with her recently at the Romance Writers of Australia conference. Thanks for sharing, PJ, and I’m sorry for your loss.
Pam – As I said above, my partner and I were friends for a whole (very torturous!) year before we got together. I firmly believe that the fact that our relationship was based on a friendship is one of the big reasons we’re still going strong today, so I agree that while the lust might be strong, it pays to invest some time in getting to know the other person before jumping in boots first. The heroine in my book, however, does not follow this sage advice! But she’s on a journey of self discovery, and being impulsive is something she needs to do to find out more about herself. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!
I definitely believe that some relationships are meant to be, and while maybe not in love at first sight, love pretty quickly š I met my husband (who is the brother of a friend of mine) and then met him again a couple of months later. At that second meeting, the relationship started. Within two weeks of our first date I moved 3 states away. We both knew pretty quickly that this was one that was doing to stick, and despite the distance and frustration of a new relationship from a distance, it worked. We were married three years later and just celebrated our third anniversary. Sometimes, you just “know”.
Hi, Sarah,
Like Beverley, I’ve read all of your books and am always anxiously awaiting your next release. I admire your skill for creating delicious sexual tension and keeping it high throughout the book. Makes for an awesome read š
I believe in attraction at first sight, but not love at first sight. I dated several men who I felt that instant chemistry with, but ended up marrying the one who really wasn’t what I had considered “my type”. I think we fall in love with the person underneath the exterior package. That’s not to say that some people don’t experience love at first sight, but I think the lust factor is a much more powerful draw initially.
I can’t wait to read your latest release!
What a great story, JWZ. I’ve maintained a relationship over long distance twice – and both times it’s survived. It’s hard, missing the one you love. But when there’s no one else you’d rather be with, it’s really just a matter of hanging in there and making the most of the times you can get together.
Hi Sarah š
I do and I don’t believe. For some people, it takes one date (as your friend have proven). Others it can take 100 dates and still not work out. I think it’s different for everyone, personally. I an a romantic so I want to believe in it, but I’m also realistic enough to know that’s not always the case. I do think that when you fall in love and want it to last, you need to be willing to work at it, nurture it and make it a priority. The sizzle wears off, but the deep, abiding love can last a lifetime and beyond with some TLC, laughter, and a dash of patience (or maybe a whole cup!) thrown in!
Hi Sarah,
I am reading Hot Island Nights right now! I was hoping that the bookstore would put them out early and they did. Phew! Lizzy & Nate sizzling right from the first pages! =)
I do believe because I have friends whom love at first sight/instant attraction/The One happened to them. It is a great ‘ideal’ to desire but this doesn’t happen for everyone and I often think that these romantic notions cause more heartbreak and unfulfilled hopes than necessary. Love takes work. Period.
Hi Grace. Thanks for your kind words – and I hope you enjoy Hot Island Nights. That’s interesting what you say about the “my type” thing – I know a few other women who did that, too, and have never regretted. The reality is, it’s all very well to go for Mr Playboy or Mr Hot-in-a-leather-jacket or Mr Chiseled-Abs, but is he going to get out of bed at 6 in the morning when he hears the garbage truck coming and you realise you haven’t put the bin out? I don’t think so. Good looks are good for 20 days, true character and heart 20 years. And as I think we all seem to agree, it’s hard to judge that stuff at first glance.
I don’t believe in love at first sight but I do believe that we can be strongly attracted to someone for sure.
I think becoming friends helps set a firmer foundation. I have fallen in love more than once at different stages of my life. I love the idea of love. š
Carol L.
Lucky4750@aol.com
Hi Scorpio M! Glad you’re enjoying the read. I had a lot of fun writing that book – lots of giggling manically to myself as I tapped away at the keyboard. I particularly like the scene in Elizabeth’s hotel room when Nate goes up to apologise. I won’t say any more in case you’re not up to that bit yet. And yes, while I, too, know love at first sight recipients, it’s obviously the exception and not the rule and if we all spent our lives hanging out for it the human species would have died out a long time ago!
Hi Stacy. Coincidentally, I just saw this comment at the on-line version of Melbourne’s broadsheet newspaper, The Age. In answer to the question “Do we need love?”, Helen Fisher of Rutgers University said: “We need it (love) for evolutionary reasons. We all have three powerful brain systems that drive us to find a partner: our sex drive, the need for romantic love and the yearning for attachment ā all necessary for the ultimate goal that has been our goal for millions of years: reproduction. We are a species that exists to form pair-bonds with the opposite sex to have babies.” Not very romantic when put like that, is it? And it definitely leaves out all the ups and downs and crises and celebrations of a long-lasting relationship. As you said, love takes sweat, blood and tears.
Hi Carol. I think the thing about being in love is that we all go in hoping for the best – we’re all hoping for Forever, right? When things don’t work out it’s crushing and very sad. But we all live to fight (and love) again another day. And yes, like you I love the idea of love!!
Ladies, I’m going to bed now – it’s late in my half of the world – but I will be on line again first thing tomorrow to respond to your comments. Hope you are all having a lovely day!
Night, Sarah! We’ll see you in the morning–your morning that is.
Hi Sarah,
My now-husband and I had instant attraction when we met. I was sort of on the rebound so I was a little cautious. In fact my ex was at the same party with his new gf where we met. Our courtship was less than six weeks–we got engaged after that and were married less than a year after we met! It’s so fun to remember our first weeks together because we were in St. Petersburg, Russia, one of the world’s most romantic cities.
Hannah
I had this same question in my head for the last few days because I recently read a book where the hero knew that the heroine was the one. He had this deep gut-feeling about this and it almost cause me to put the book down because they really didn’t have any interaction yet. I know in paranormals I can accept this more than any other sub-genre. So I had to wonder if this really could happen in reality. I don’t believe in love at first sight. Like many of the others have stated, it is a strong attraction that makes you want to explore a possibility with the other individual. But then my question becomes, do our own biases effect what we think of a book? Mmm, that book had really left me pondering this.
Enjoyed reading the comments. The books sound really good.
I believe in instant attraction but I think love has to grow. It can not be achieved in one hour or one night.
I honestly believe instant attraction is only in books/fiction and that in real life you could think somebody is attractive at first but that doesn’t mean there is attraction there.
Sarah! I love your books! Your characters are so real.
Hubby and I had a slow burn thing going, but I firmly believe the instant ‘pow’ can happen as well.
All the best for your release!
I’m not sure about love at first sight, but I do believe in lust at first glance/instant attraction. And that’s all fun and games, but true love needs time to mature and grow. Of course, I like to think that there *is* The One out there, waiting. š
i certainly believe that love at first sight can happen for some lucky few, but for the most part, i think lust or attraction at first sight is more likely. that being said, i think that love that starts with friendship has the better chance of surviving – then you already have the foundation of the relationship built.
k_sunshine1977 at yahoo dot com
Yes, I do believe in love at first sight. When I met my husband it was instant attraction. He said it was love at first sight, but since I had been burnt many times, I was holding back a bit. But we were meant for each other and I think after 32 years and 11 kids, that’s proof of the pudding. We are still going strong…lol!!!
Valerie
valb0302@yahoo.com
in Germany
@Valerie 11 kids??!!!!! Wow!!!! Kudos to you, my dear!!
I believe in instant attraction and there are definitely some couples who seem like they were meant to be. I don’t think there is only one person for each person in the world though.
I believe in instant attraction, but not love at first sight. I believe that love starts with friendship and grows from there.
I do not believe at first sight. I prefer reading about people who are friends first in books too.
Congrats on your new release!
I do believe in love at first sight, but I was twelve and the love was a horse so I don’t know if that counts. š
Lust at first sight? Yes. Attraction at first sight? Sure, although I can’t be truly attracted to someone until he starts talking (it’s the mind thing).
As for people that I know who may be destined to be together, I don’t know any. Even though most couples I know are still married (including my parents), I can’t say that I think of any as fated or destined (although a friend did claim two friends were perfect for each other and introduced them – they’re still together after 20 years).
Hello! I’m up and rearing to go. I’ll try to reply in order:
Hannah – You and your husband sound like my friend, Jo, and her hubby. They just knew, and they didn’t muck around. She told me the story of their marriage when we first met, before I’d met her husband, and I can remember hearing alarm bells, being a very practical young miss. Then I met her husband and realised they really were perfect for each other. I guess when you know, you know. And St Petersberg sounds like the perfect backdrop for a whirlwind romance!
Samantha – Yes, I know what you mean about being more prepared to accept the idea of instant knowing/love/connection in a paranormal. It was one of the things that I loved about the Black Dagger Brotherhood, that “she’s mine” thing the brothers all got when they met their mate. In a straight contemporary it’s hard to pull that kind of certainty off. Certainly, the characters in my book are not consciously thinking anything like that when they first meet – but they are definitely attracted to each other, even if that attraction is reluctant on both sides for various reasons.
Joye – One Hour Love. I can see the ad now! But I agree, most of us take time to fall in love. Sometimes years!
Marjana – Oh, there’s definitely a difference between thinking someone is attractive and actually being attracted personally. There are a lot of aesthetically pleasing men on TV and in movies and, on a good day, in the queue at the supermarket (!!) who I know, empirically speaking, are good looking. But do they do anything for me personally? Not usually. But that’s probably more about me already being very decidedly “taken”.
Karyn – Hello there! Thanks for your kind words, glad you’re enjoying the reads. And welcome to Club Slow Burn. As I mentioned up above somewhere, my man and I were friends for a very long, very frustrating year before we finally got it together. A whole 12 months of slow burn. But it was worth it in the end.
Julie – The article that I quoted up above said that research shows that over a third of one night stands result in a longer term relationship. So that instant attraction thing has got something going for it 1 out of three times, I guess.
Kisah – Your comment made me think of something else I read years ago about a study psychologists were doing into the make-up of successful marriages. One of the common elements they found in all successful relationships was a willingness within couples to “glorify” the other in a way that allowed them to concentrate on the good stuff and overlook the niggly, annoying things that come from living in each other’s pockets 24/7. I think when you’re friends with someone, when you genuinely LIKE them as well as feel that powerful attraction, concentrating on the good stuff is much easier to achieve.
Valerie – Your husband is clearly a man who knows what he wants. Any marriage that can survive all those years and all those children is a tower of strength, indeed. I hope you get to enjoy another great 32 years together, Valerie.
Maureen – While the romantic in me loves the idea of The One, the realist in me has to agree that if we are all only destined for one specific person, there would probably be a lot less human beings in the world! What if your The One was on the other side of the world? How on earth would you find them? Simply not practical enough.
Estella – I suspect there are probably as many different ways to fall in love as there are people in the world. But I definitely think ( as I’ve said a few times today) that really enjoying the other person on more levels than just the physical/sexual is the key to lasting connection. Sometimes when I’m watching a romantic comedy movie I wind up asking myself what the hero/heroine sees in the object of their affection. Too often, particularly for men, it’s simply that the woman is good looking. That drives me nuts. I always try to show in my books WHY these two people are together – they have to get each other in a way that goes beyond the physical. One of my favorite scenes depicting this is in Two Weeks Notice with Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant. It’s after she’s given notice, and they go to their favorite local restaurant for lunch. They talk about whatever, but the whole time they’re talking they’re tailoring their meals to suit themselves and each other – she gives him all her onions, he gives her all his salad (or whatever it is. I can’t remember the details). They do this without even discussing it, it’s simply a given. It’s a great way of showing how simpatico they are and always delights me.
hi JCP. One of my favorite themes is friends to lovers. I have explored this idea in Anything For You, Amorous Liaisons and most recently in Her Best Friend, the book I like to think of as the Mother of all my friends to lovers stories. As a writer, you really hit the ground running when there’s a long term friendship in the stakes. All the usual risk attached to confessing your feelings etc becomes so much more scarier and riskier. And like you, I love reading stories like this.
Cories, I’m totally with you on the mind thing. I’m actually very picky where men are concerned – they need to be smart AND funny AND kind. This is usually not something you can tell just by looking at them, more’s the pity. Fortunately, I got the package with my man and I pinch myself every day.
Congrats on your new release!
I do believe in love at first sight. I have seen it with some people. I was there when they met 20+ years ago, and both couples are still together.
Hi Chey. Wow, you witnessed 2 real life love at first sights. Pretty impressive odds , given how rare this seems to be.
My husband and I were in a few classes together in high school. We were friends, I hung out with the kids from the Air Base that attended our school. He left the end of our junior year along with several of the other “base kids.” I wrote to several of them a few times a year. He and I kept up the correspondence through college and later when he went into the Air Force and I went into the Peace Corps. We are talking about exchanging Christmas cards and a few letters a year. He did write a bit more frequently when I was overseas keeping up with what I was doing. I came home for Christmas when I extended for a third year in the PC. I stopped at an air base in California to recover a bit from jet lag. I stayed with my cousin and her husband who was stationed there. My future DH was also stationed there. My cousin had him over for dinner one night and he took us all out to dinner the next. My cousin’s comment the first night she met him was “He is perfect for you.” Her husband told her to mind her own business. After 3 days I left for Upstate New York and my family. A little over 3 weeks later HE stopped by our house on his way (CA to his mom’s in Florida, to NY, to Maine) to his new assignment in northern Maine. I went back to the Philippines the next day. He showed up in my town there for fiesta in May and proposed a few days later. No dates, just friendly visits. I don’t even remember if we kissed before he asked me. I didn’t say yes until I got back to the States in Sept. Romantic or not, it was meant to be. We’ve been married for 38+ years and have 3 great children. We are looking forward to many more years together.
Libary Pat, I got goosebumps reading your story. It’s very romantic. Given that men are generally the world’s slackest letter writers, your hubby was clearly damned keen to keep you in his life, by hook or by crook. Have you ever asked him what was going on in his mind all those years? Was he thinking “that girl, one day”? Or was it more a gradual thing? Either way, 38 years and counting cannot be wrong. Thanks for sharing!
Iād love to hear reading stories about instant attraction, love at first sight and The One. I’m not sure I believe it in real life as it has never happened to me.
I believe in love at first sight but it never happen to me.
loretta
lbcanton@verizon.net
Hi Sarah!!! How nice to see you here at The Season Blog! š You are one of my favorite Harlequin authors!
To answer your question, I believe in it all—attraction, lust, and love at first sight. Everybody is different and has different experiences.
I just got your new Blaze book HOT SUMMER NIGHTS (which looks sooo good!) so please don’t enter me in this contest. Are you enjoying writing Superromances? Will you be writing many more of them?
Hi Sue – I guess it’s a little like people winning the lottery, right? You know it happens, it just hasn’t happened to you yet! I think a lot of these ideas are great in romance stories, but sometimes don’t translate too practically to real life.
Hi Loretta – As I think we have very firmly established today, love at first sight is a rarity, but there have definitely been some sightings in the wild!
Hi Sandra – I hope you enjoy Hot Island Nights. I had a lot of fun writing it – plus I shed a few tears, too, in all the “right” places! And yes, I do enjoy writing Superromances as well. I did a podcast phone interview with Malle Vallik, Harlequin’s on-line editor the other day, and she asked me the same question, in a slightly different way. Blaze and Superromance offer different perspectives on the world – one very sexy and fun and empowering, the other more realistic and warm hearted and inter-generational. It’s lovely getting to play in both arenas. And yes, I do have more Supers scheduled – Best Laid Plans is a November release for Superromance, and The Last Goodbye is scheduled for February 2011.
I do believe in love at first sight for some people; especially if you are older and have dated a lot. It happened to my parents. After their first date, dad went home and told his mom he had met the woman he was going to marry. They were married a week later and were married for 47 years, ending with my mom’s death.
Of course, lust at first sight is a lot more common.
I really believe that there is someone or several someones for everyone, and you never know when you will meet The One.
My DH and I met at a wedding where he was best man and I was maid-of-honor. I remember the first time we saw each other, we stared into each other’s eyes for quite a while. I didn’t like the way he was looking at me, and wanted to run. Everyone was talking about us for months after that. LOL! After our first couple of dates as friends only, my dad said if we ever decided to get married, we had their permission because our man-hating dog really liked him. Also, almost immediately his parents said to call them mom and dad. Everyone knew we were fated to be together except for us. We dated as friends only for 6 months before we knew we were actually in love. We got married a year and almost 2 months later and had our 36th wedding anniversary in April. Love takes a lot of work and nurturing, and it really helps when you respect each other, communicate well, and are best friends.
ps: Trust is also a must.
@Cathy and librarypat, I love your stories. I could see them as romance novels.
Another great story, Cathy. I love the man-hating dog! And the fact that everyone else knew you guys were fated except the two of you. I absolutely agree with you – mutual respect, friendship, and trust are key elements to a long term relationship.
Instant attraction – yes! Love at first site – maybe, but I wouldn’t like my daughter to meet and then marry someone in a short time frame. The One – definately….I think there is someone out there for everyone, the one who “gets” you in all your good and bad moments.
The only time I’ve ever felt instant attraction or love at first sight have been with cats!