The problem with having an alpha male brother
by Kat Latham
My brother is my opposite in almost every way. The only things we have in common are our bad points—we both have to have the last word in an argument, and we both struggle to admit when we’re wrong. Most of my memories of us “playing” together during our growing up years end with me bracing my body against my closed bedroom door while he launched himself at it from the other side in an attempt to hurt me. Of course, I’m sure I was totally innocent of all wrong-doing.
It’s taken us many, many years to become friends and appreciate each other’s strengths, but we now get along really well and have learned how to navigate around tricky topics of conversation.
There’s one thing I’ll never be able to forgive my brother for, though: he’s ruined alpha males for me.
During my last couple of years of high school, my brother became obsessed with becoming a Navy SEAL. He bought one of their training videos and, even though he was only 14 or 15, he began preparing himself for the rigors of SEAL life. I have no idea if these are real SEAL training activities or my brother just made them up, but he apparently put scuba weights on his ankles and jumped into the deep end of a friend’s pool, letting himself sink to the bottom before kicking back up, then sinking again. Repeat dozens of times until he thought he would drown, then do it once more. He also slept in a tree one night. He bought rappelling equipment and rappelled down the side of our house. I can’t tell you how many times I walked out into the back yard, thinking I was alone, only to have the breath scared out of me by him leaping onto the patio behind me.
Fifteen years later, I still can’t read books with SEAL heroes without picturing my brother and all those crazy things he did and talked about. And believe me, there’s no bigger turn-off than reaching a hot love scene and realizing the hero looks and talks grossly similar to your brother. I’ve had to put down some great books because of it.
But now he’s done something worse. He’s become a fireman and paramedic. Do you know how many firefighter heroes there are in contemporary romance? About as many as there are mistresses in Regency romance. They’re everywhere! And I can’t bring myself to read about them. The closest I’ve come is Bella Andre’s Never Too Hot, which has a hero who’s an injured firefighter. For some reason, that helped me separate the hero from my brother, because my brother’s not injured.
My brother’s even got an alpha name, and I can’t read a novel with a heroine moaning my brother’s name.
There’s probably some weird, horrible, Freudian explanation for all this that I don’t want to examine too closely. Fortunately, the other men in my family are not alpha at all, and they have names and careers that rarely make it into romance novels. But if you do ever hear of a book with a refrigerator-selling hero named Jim, let me know and I can get it for my dad. I’m sure he’d love to feel like a romance novel hero.
Are there certain kinds of heroes you struggle to read about because they remind you of people you know in real life? Comment and be entered to win a copy of Jill Shalvis’s ANIMAL MAGNETISM
Kat Latham has been reading romance for a couple of decades. With degrees in English lit and human rights, she loves stories that reflect the depth, humor and emotion of real life. When she’s not writing contemporary romance novels, she can usually be found blogging or tweeting overly personal information. She loves meeting other readers and writers online, so follow her on Twitter or check out her blog and say hello!
Oh, this cracks me up! I’m so sorry you can’t enjoy all the SEAL books and yep, all those firefighter titles that are out there! Don’t have a brother so haven’t run into this problem…hubby is a former Army Officer but it isn’t the same thing in terms of *squick* factor!
I haven’t had that happen to me, at least yet, so I really don’t know how I would look at it. I have wondered about names, a long time back though, would I be able to read a book with a hero’s name the same as my father or grandfather or something, and haven’t had a problem with it, although I don’t think I’ve really come across to many Edwards or Andrews, come to think of it. Sure wish there were more Lois’s in romance though. 😉 And sure love Jill Shalvis’s books!!! 🙂
Lois
LOL. This was funny to read, and I can’t blame you for not reading about firefighters and SEALs. I have to admit that this would be particularly hard for me since I have a love for Suzanne Brockmann and her Navy SEALs.
I really don’t think there’s a hero I wouldn’t read about. I don’t have any brothers, so no problem there. 🙂 I think the only thing that wouldn’t work for me sometimes are if my dad’s name was a character. I can’t say I’ve heard of many heroes with his name (thank God!) but I really couldn’t read it. No matter how gorgeous the hero is and no matter what job he takes, I just couldn’t do it. Lol. I can relate at least in that aspect.
I haven’t had any issues like that, but I will say that a big turn-off for me is if the hero’s name is weird or something that’s not easy to pronounce. I’ve read plenty of books featuring heroes with the same name as my brother and it didn’t bother me in the least, which is good since he has a pretty popular hero name. 🙂
No so much types of heroes, but if someone had a career or def. a name similar to someone I know, then yes, its a def turn-off. And sometimes characters will just have the same personality as someone, and it might not even be someone I can pinpoint, but it just feels weird.
I got a good laugh over your post! I have never run across a romance that had the career or name of my brother, but I think that if I did it would definetly be a turn off for me! Best of luck finding the right romance novel for yourself!
Best wishes,
Chris Mead
Ha, loved your post. And thanks for giving away my new book!!!
OMG. That is too, too funny. Thankfully, unless there are romance novels where the hero is a laid-back travel agent with a wicked sense of humor (i.e., my brother), I’m okay in the freudian department.
Kat –
I really enjoyed reading about your brother! I come from a family with only sisters so I was totally unprepared when I ended up being surrounded by alpha males! When I married and then had only SONS was I in for a rude awakening! Somewhere along the line I tried to teach them to be genltemen and those traits DO come out OCCASIONALLY!
Believe when my boys were little and my husband taught them the age old “manly way” to “pee outside on the chimney” I was not impressed – this was not my idea of “potty training”! Fortunately they all grew up – with the exception of my husband – who is now teaching this wonderful ability to our grandsons!
God, in my “next life” please give me girls!
Hello,
That was an amusing post! I’m happy to report that I don’t have a similar problem because I love to real about SEALS and Fireman heroes. The only thing that will trip me up sometimes are names. I just try not to think about it too much because it can ruin a good story.
Hi, Kat!
I loved your post. I can just see your brother with the weights on his feet in the swimming pool. BTW, did he become a Navy Seal when he was in the service? That is hilarious, but sad that you can’t read a romance novel without something in it to remind you of your brother. LOL! I have to admit that I can’t think of my brother in a romantic way either.
I have never read a book that has my brother’s or any other male family member’s name in it or anything that reminds of them, except one that had my DH name in it, but the man wasn’t in the same line of work.
I haven’t come across a book yet that reminds of someone in real life..Yet..I do know if a hero had the same name as my brother I wouldn’t read it. Just too ick for me.
What a great post. I don’t think I have read any books that reminded me of men I know.
This is just too funny to me. Not being able to read about alphas must suck! Those are my favorite. Thankfully I have not encountered any heroes reminding me of anyone that I know.
Oh my goodness…what a story.
The man in my life is more of a Beta type. I LOVE reading about alpha males….sorry!!!
Valerie
in Germany
Thanks for giving me a laugh this morning. I am sorry, though, that some Alpha Male books are off limits for you. Maybe what you need to do is totally immerse yourself in Alpha Male stories and pictures so that you can replace the picture of your brother in your mind!
The only thing that bothers me is if the hero’s name is the same as one of my sons. There is an Ick Factor that I have to get past.
Oh wow. That is such a huge chunk of romance that is off limits to you. I would say that firemen would be my only one. Both my uncle & cousin are firefighters. It doesn’t prevent me from reading a story but I have had to stop watching certain movies where firefighters are in danger.
I do know of a hero in an upcoming book by my favorite author that will have the same name as my little brother. That will be strange. I’m hoping it won’t stop me from reading it.
This has never happened to me and I am glad because I love reading about alpha males. I am sorry that you can not read these books anymore.
One of my brothers is a know-it-all so I have a hard time with a hero that has that personality trait.
I am so sorry that these wonderful heros have been forever ruined for you, but your telling of it cracked me up. You have me curious as to what alpha male name your brother has.
I don’t really have any hang ups when it comes to reading. I can completely separate what I am reading from my reality to where if the hero’s name was Ron it would not disturb me in the least. I have heard from others that they can not read a book where the h/h share names with their children. I haven’t read many western’s since I had my son so I haven’t ran across any Cody’s and I am currently reading the first book to have my daughter’s name in it, however it is spelled MacKayla which is so far off from the way I spell my daughter’s name that it doesn’t even seem to be the same name. I know I have a series hidden in a closet that contains the correct spelling of her name but I have not managed to read them yet.
Good luck to you on your reading endeavors and trying to separate these hunky alphas in books from your alpha brother!!
Luckily, I’ve never read about anyone who reminded me of anyone I know!
LOL Probably the boy next door theme. I lived next to one who wanted to make it serious and I couldn’t get past just wanting to be his friend or thinking of him like a brother. In hindsight maybe I should have given him a chance. I ended up married to the alpha guy and although it’s been 41 years, it’s not been easy lol. I do love reading about alphas though – go figure lol.
I have to admit that I don’t have a problem at all with the Alpha heros. I don’t think I’ve ever read a book were the hero reminded me of anyone either.
Though no character reminded me of anyone, there have been characters’ names which were the same as folks I knew.
It was weird……
I can’t imagine not being able to enjoy SEAL books. I’ve never had a hard time reading about a particular type of hero because they reminded me of someone I know.
Thanks, everyone! Wishing you all a very happy week reading about your favorite heroes (and none of those icky brother heroes – cooties).
I am sitting here laughing because I was just thinking this morning how I can never read novels with my son’s name as the hero’s name….and unfortunately there are several books out right now that I *really want* to read where the hero has that name. I should have known better than to pick a romance hero name for my son. But how could I help myself?!
Sigh.
🙂 Bella
http://www.BellaAndre.com
This is an interesting post. I once read a romance where the hero had the same name as my grandfather. The book was fantastic, but the only way I could get through it was to mentally change the hero’s name to something else every time it was mentioned. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to have a whole type of hero ruined for you.
That was just too funny! You made me very happy NOT to have grown up with a brother. 🙂
Sometimes the character’s name will be identical to someone I know and that can be a bit strange.
How funny is that! Thank goodness my brothers are in some fairly innocuous occupations! Of course they are both big-time Alphas and can be obnoxious, over-bearing, arrogant, bossy …. well, you get the picture. And they have never let a little thing like my having three years on the middle one and six years on the “baby” get in the way. Fortunately, I have mastered the “I’m not listening to you and if you don’t hush I will be forced to either punch you or tell Mom.” look. Works every time.
Great post! Luckily I have not came across any books that have heroes that remind me of my brother or any of the other guys in my family, so I don’t know how I would feel about it.
Have never read a hero with my brothers name—-or the name of someone I know.
that is so funny. I have never read one with my brother’s name. this has never happened to me and I have all daughters.
There have been characters in books that reminded me of relatives or friends, but that has never bothered me. I don’t think I have ever associated a character with someone I know. It is a good thing because I have a large family and everyone’s name comes up one time or another.
Had to smile the other day when I read the blurb about a new book. It didn’t give the names of the couple, but the husband and wife have the same jobs my husband and I do. Kind of fun to read a story that parallels your life even a little bit.
I read the blurb about ANIMAL MAGNETISM the other day. Sounds like a fun read.
Thanks for your post. Tell your brother to take a job as a sewer worker or garbage truck driver so he won’t ruin your reading and fantasy life.
I have to say, I’ve never had this problem. The men in my family are pretty non-romancy types and none of them work in a “hero” type profession so I never think of any of them when I’m reading the typical romance.
Luckily I have no such problems! I love Seal books.
Great post! I havent had this come up yet. But Im sure if it does Ill think of this.
Holy crap….I can’t stop laughing. Wonderful post. How dare he become a firefighter and paramedic. LOL! Now I’m going to think of this post the next time I pick up a SEAL book!
Funny!! I don’t read many military novels, but I may add them to my list.
Unfortunately, no one I know reminds me of the heroes in romances. That’s why I read the romances, LOL.
I like the bad boy characters and naturally I like them in real life…though they don’t suit me 🙂 But who can resist the “I don’t care” attitude?
I don’t like to read about the office romance or the businessman in love. I work with these guys. No thanks.
I want to rad about someone that takes me out of my comfort zone-the cowboy or the deep sea diver or the fireman.
I had a wonderful laugh while reading through your post. No, I don’t happen to have your difficulty. Story heroes and the people I know in real life may resemble each other somewhat on occasion, but never to the degree that I can’t enjoy the story.
That is so funny! I have to say that I haven’t had my family ruin any novels for me, even when the hero or heroine had my kids names. I don’t think of people I know when I’m reading fiction except that they do make the actions seem more believable if I have seen people react similarly to the characters.
That’s awful being unable to read a whole part of the romance genre! Personally I prefer beta heroes, but I can read alpha heroes without being reminded of a specific person. A problem I do have is that I can’t read a hero/character that has the same name as one of my ex’s, but that really only applies if it’s soon after the break up.
I can sort of not think of my cousin when reading about Marines but it’s hard to read about heroes with the same names as some of my friends (the heroes are hetero but those friends are not, hence the confusion in my brain).
LOL,
I am so glad I don’t have any relatives that would qualify as Alpha males. Don’t get me wrong they are wonderful people, but more along the lines of your refrigerator hero father 🙂 I’m able to enjoy all the Alpha male heroes I can get my hands on, and am very sorry that you can’t 🙁 Like a few other commenters though, when I read a hero or even a heroine with the name of someone that I know, I can’t help but compare the two and sometimes have a hard time separating fact and fiction, so I can understand a little bit of what you must go through.
This was hilarious! Luckily, I only have a sister, and she doesn’t have a common romance heroine name. But now I really want to know your brother’s name. If it was Regency he’d totally be a Devlin, Devil, Lucifer, or Gabriel but I don’t know what the common alpha names are for contemps.
I really enjoyed reading your blog post Kat! It was very funny! 🙂 I have yet to have this problem. But I can see how distracting it could be.
I enjoy reading books with heroes who remind me of someone in real life. I read on and find out why they might act the way they do and how to deal with them. lol! OMG. I love Jill’s books!!