{"id":5981,"date":"2011-02-14T08:26:28","date_gmt":"2011-02-14T13:26:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theseasonforromance.com\/wordpress\/?p=5981"},"modified":"2022-10-11T20:17:07","modified_gmt":"2022-10-11T20:17:07","slug":"valentines-day-curse-or-blessing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/smittenbybooks.com\/blog\/2011\/02\/14\/valentines-day-curse-or-blessing\/","title":{"rendered":"Valentine’s Day – Curse or Blessing?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Love lessons from contemporary romance heroes by Kat Latham
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve celebrated one Valentine\u2019s Day<\/strong><\/span> in my entire life. One.<\/p>\n

It was in 2003, and my boyfriend (now husband) and I had been together for three months. He hated the idea of a manufactured day of love, and tried to explain that he didn\u2019t think love was about exchanging flowers and chocolates once a year.<\/p>\n

But I was so excited to finally have a boyfriend on Valentine\u2019s Day that I insisted we celebrate it. What a mistake.<\/p>\n

We were living in Prague, in the Czech Republic, and since my husband is English I decided to get him some nice loose-leaf tea and a teapot. He\u2019d been teaching me how to make the perfect cup of tea and had often mentioned that loose leaf was far better than the bagged stuff we could afford.<\/p>\n

Finding loose-leaf tea was no problem. There are dozens of tea shops in Prague. Finding masculine teapots, on the other hand\u2026impossible. I spent weeks scouring every tea shop I could find, only to see hundreds of ceramics decorated with pink polka-dots or kittens. My husband is 6\u20193. At the time, he was playing rugby for a Czech team. I couldn\u2019t picture him pouring tea from a kitty pot.<\/p>\n

I showed up at my favorite caf\u00e9 (a concession he had made for me, since he would\u2019ve much rather been in a pub) and handed over the gifts I\u2019d gotten him: two small bags of tea leaves with nothing to brew them in. I\u2019ve never seen a man look so confused.<\/p>\n

Then he gave me my gift, and my heart sank. It was awesome: a hardcover book of black-and-white photos of Prague, so I\u2019d always remember the city we fell in love in.<\/p>\n

Since that Valentine\u2019s Day when I was so significantly out-classed by my husband, I\u2019ve come around to his way of thinking. We celebrate dates and occasions that mean something to us as a couple and ignore Valentine\u2019s Day.<\/p>\n

I often hear guys say they don\u2019t understand the point of the day. They don\u2019t know what women want from them. I started doing a bit of research for this post, skimming through my favorite contemporary romance novels to find examples of heroes who made a big romantic gesture that was perfect for their heroine. What I found instead were men who are more like my husband\u2014displaying their love and devotion through actions that mean so much more than a one-off gesture.<\/p>\n

Here are some of the most romantic moves a man can make.<\/p>\n

1. He takes responsibility and removes some of the burden from his partner.<\/strong><\/p>\n

*sigh* Is there any romantic hero who can beat Jack Travis, Lisa Kleypas\u2019s Smooth Talking Stranger? When Ella Varner shows up at his office holding her sister\u2019s baby and insists he take a paternity test, he knows he can\u2019t be the father. Even though he\u2019s not little Luke\u2019s dad, though, he helps Ella when she\u2019s exhausted from taking care of the baby. He gives them a place to stay, builds a crib, buys toys, and even wakes up in the early morning to feed and play with Luke so Ella can sleep in. All this after Ella\u2019s boyfriend practically breaks up with her because he doesn\u2019t want to take responsibility for another man\u2019s child.<\/p>\n

2. He lets her set the pace if she needs to take things slowly.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Not all women want a relationship. For some of us (see my last post about my near-nervous-breakdown) there\u2019s nothing more terrifying than discovering someone returns your feelings.<\/p>\n

\"\"Autumn Adams, the heroine of Susan Donovan\u2019s Knock Me Off My Feet, is one such woman. Her hero, Stacey Quinn, figures out early on that Audie\u2019s the woman for him, but he also realizes that her parents set an awful example of marriage. Quinn\u2019s patient and honest with Audie, and it\u2019s only when she stubbornly persists in believing she\u2019s unable to love anyone that he calls her bluff and gives her the space she needs in order to discover how much she loves him.<\/p>\n

3. He respects her culture and beliefs, even if they make life a little more difficult for him.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Gabe Rossiter, from Naked Edge by Pamela Clare, is probably the most over-sexed hero I\u2019ve ever read about. Rock climbing and casual sex are his two biggest hobbies. So when he meets Kat James, a Navajo woman who\u2019s waiting to find her life-partner before having sex, he fights his attraction for her. As a mystery throws them together and Kat begins to explore her sexual side, Gabe expresses his deepening feelings for her in the biggest way he can\u2014by respecting her boundaries. By the end of the novel, he makes an incredible sacrifice, and it has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with love and devotion.<\/p>\n

\"\"4. He stands up for her, even if she doesn\u2019t really need him to.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Minerva Dobbs is a smart, confident woman. She\u2019s more than capable of standing up for herself. But when Cal Morrisey, the hero of Jennifer Crusie\u2019s Bet Me, goes to Min\u2019s parents\u2019 house for dinner one night, he watches her mother make comment after comment about Min\u2019s weight. In one of the most awesome scenes ever written, Cal puts Min\u2019s entire family in their place and lets them know she\u2019s perfect.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re with a man who doesn\u2019t like celebrating Valentine\u2019s Day<\/span>, what are other ways he shows his love? Do you have a favorite Valentine\u2019s Day<\/span> story? Or do you prefer to ignore the day?<\/strong><\/p>\n

~*~*~<\/span><\/p>\n

Comment to enter to win <\/strong>THE TROUBLE WITH VALENTINE’S<\/span> DAY<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Let Rachel Gibson<\/strong><\/em><\/a> tell you about The Trouble with Valentine’s Day<\/span><\/strong>:
\nThat one day each year when being single is a sin.<\/p>\n

Kate Hamilton should know. Dumped by her boyfriend, stressed out by her job, she’s returned to Gospel, Idaho, for some rest and small-town fun. But when her first attempted seduction of a hunky stranger is completely rejected, she wonders what else could go wrong?<\/p>\n

Well, for starters, she quickly realizes that the Mountain Momma Crafters’ original poetry readings is about as good as it gets on a Friday night. Then she comes face-to-face with Rob Sutter, former ice hockey madman, owner of Sutter Sports — and the hunky stranger who told her to get lost.<\/p>\n

Rob’s been more than burned by love — but then he and Kate find themselves in an ultra-compromising position in the M & S Market after hours, giving the phrase “clean-up in aisle five” a whole new meaning, and causing a whole lot of gossip in Gospel …<\/p>\n

\n

Kat Latham<\/strong> has been reading romance for a couple of decades. With degrees in English lit and human rights, she loves stories that reflect the depth, humor and emotion of real life. When she\u2019s not writing contemporary romance novels, she can usually be found blogging or tweeting overly personal information. She loves meeting other readers and writers online, so follow her on Twitter<\/a> or check out her blog<\/a> and say hello!<\/p>\n\n

\n <\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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